I'm Not Asking For The World
by Irish Whiskey
Summary: Death, Sex, and Adventure. Forks, Washington welcomes two different sisters whose lives are changed by La Push forever. IMPRINTING AU We, as usual, disclaim!
1. Yeah They're Dead

**I'm Not Asking For The World**

**Stormy Seas**

"Loretta!"

"I'm coming Grandma" I am Loretta Tailynn Tremaine and this is my story. My parents died a few days ago and we have to go to their funeral. I can't even think straight and I have to make a speech. Then I promised my grandfather I would sing. I will, for them, but after that I won't do it again. I was singing in my recital when my parents died. They were on yacht and a storm came. I didn't ask for this. I just want my life to go back to the way it was. Now I have to move from Manhattan to Forks, Washington. I have to leave everything I have ever known. I feel like I am in a dream, I'm sorry I really mean nightmare. My sister, Theodora, isn't taking it well. She doesn't even try to argue with me. She has just been sitting there on that damn couch for an hour not talking. She won't even look at me. I think she blames me somehow. Like maybe if it wasn't for my recital we would have been with them. I don't see how that fixes anything, we'd be gone too. Theodora doesn't know this, but she is my forever best friend. Sometimes I really can't stand her, and hitting her seems like the best idea ever. But most of the time, she is just my sister. We are so different, I don't get it. We were raised by the same people. Thea (which I so affectionately call her but she hates) is a free spirit. She doesn't care what other people think. She just is. Me? Oh well I am terrified of the world. I act like I know what I am doing, but I know she knows I am scared. Now we have to uproot, and I don't know how I feel. I am going to be a senior in a school with people who have been friends since birth. Where is the justice in that?

"Teddy, come on, we have to get in the car now." She doesn't even say anything she just looks at me. The drive there is miserable. I try to make a joke but everything is so inappropriate. All I want to do it curl up in a ball and cry alone in my closet. There are going to be so many people, and they are going to look at us like it was us who died. It might as well have been, our old life it dead now.

"Loretta, stand up" How long have we been here? Did everyone else finish talking? I walk up to the front of the church and I realize that I left my note cards on the bench. I wrote a beautiful speech about my parents and their lives. I can't read it to these people. They'll be sad now but they'll go home and move on. I can't give that speech, it isn't worth it.

" Hi, for those of you who don't know me, I am Peter and Laurel's daughter, Loretta. I love my parents. I mean loved. They loved me and my sister. I didn't know my mom. She spent all of her time trying to make me her perfect daughter. I never could live up. I didn't want to shop for hours or ride horses. I was a mistake you know? They didn't mean to have me. Dad thought I was his shining star. He didn't know I loved him, because he was never around. I mean I just have to move across country and start over because they were too busy partying together to come to my recital. They didn't care; it was paid for they could watch it on the big screen at home. Mom would point out my imperfections. Dad would say Loretta; you are gunna be somebody someday. I would smile and nod. I don't care anymore ya know? Whatever, they are gone- They LEFT me! And they can't fix it. "I didn't say any of that. All I did was turn around and get my note cards. I said how beautiful they were, how much we'll miss them, what great parents they were. People cried because of my speech. I sang my mom's favorite Celine Dion song. I sat down and stared at my sister. She didn't even look at me. People came by and said what a beautiful voice I have, my parents were so proud. They told me everything would be alright. I would nod and smile and thank them for coming. I would assure them that my parents cared about them. We lied to each other so easily.

/\/\/\/\page break/\/\/\/\

I sat on the couch of the funeral home picking the paint from under my nails. My parents where dead. It really hadn't hit me yet, it seemed too bazaar. You always hear about parents having to bury their beloved 17 year-old child, but you never hear of the 17 year-old child having to bury their parents. Both parents.

Loretta kept trying to talk to me but I just ignored her, I didn't want to hear what she had to say. There would be words about the future, and I couldn't even deal with the present.

"Thea?"

I knew the could shoulder wouldn't last long. Only I would be blessed with a sister so oblivious to body language.

"Can we not do this now?"

"Then when do you propose we do talk about this?"

"There is nothing to discuss."

"I don't understand why you're taking this tone with me."

"What tone?"

"That t-, we're not getting into this now."

"Then what are we getting into?"

"We have to talk about this."

"No we don't. Why does everyone in this family insist on talking?"

"It's good for you to talk about things."

"I don't know why you want to talk to me anyway, I've got the tone remember?"

"Ugh! Fine" she through her hands up. Victory!!!

"Later."

Damn.

I watched her go with a scowl on my face. I loved my space and she loved her space yet she insisted that we always share space. Ugh!

"Miss. Tremaine, the limo is here to take you to the cemetery."

"Thank you." Piss off!!!

I didn't want to put my parents in the ground, mom hated dirt. A flash of a smile appeared on my face, Laurel "every thing must be spotless" Tremaine was about to be surrounded by dirt. My idea of a funeral at sea was quickly shot down. No one appreciated my humor.

As my mom and dad where about to be lowered into the ground, the grey clouds opened and rain poured down.


	2. Remember to Breath

Remember to Breathe

The plane ride to Seattle was quiet. I read a book and listened to music. I didn't try to talk to my sister. She didn't look at me. Grandma slept the whole trip. Grandpa was on his phone the second he could be. I didn't know what I was doing there. Now, I am sitting in my new room, in Forks, Washington. I am so lost. I don't want to go home, I don't want to be here. I run out the door as far as I can. The world spins around me. The next thing I know I am at a beach. I sit and watch the waves. I wonder if my parents are watching me. Probably not- and if they are they are probably wondering what the hell I am doing. I wish I knew. Time passes and I feel so alone. I start to walk into the cold water. It starts to pull me in. I don't know what I am doing. Everything in my body is telling me to go back, but I just want to sink deeper. I want everything to be quiet. Its too loud.

I am slammed up against a hard, warm body. "What are you doing!" a gruff voice yells loudly at me. I don't even have it in me to tell him that I don't know. The next thing I know I am being carried out of the water. I haven't slept for days. His body is so warm, I want to sleep. "What is your name, girl- please, tell me-are you okay? Shit what am I gunna do?" I hear more people come running towards us. Their voices are all in the background. The only thing I concentrate on is the voice of the guy whose arms I am in. I am being wrapped in a towel- they ask for him to put me down. He refuses. I hear the word "imprint" being thrown around. After that I black out.

What in the world is going on? Everything comes crashing back to me. Did I seriously walk into the ocean and try to drown? That is not even funny- God Loretta what the fuck is wrong with you? You could have died. I must be going crazy. I can feel the tears streaming down my face. I finally look up at my surroundings. I am on bed, in what appears to be a plainly furnished room. A strangled cry escapes my mouth.

"You're awake thank god, are you okay?" The anger in the voice startles me.

"Uhhhhhhhhh yeah, fine, thank you…listen I am sorry I put you in danger. I don't know what I was thinking. I-"

"Stop- what the fuck were you doing?"

"I don't know"

"Like hell you don't"

"I wasn't thinking"

"Clearly"

"Look I am sorry, if you just point me to 125 Carol Lane, then I will be on my way. Thank you for saving me." His face softened.

"Let's get you out of these clothes.- I mean your clothes are soaking wet, you need some new ones." I almost laughed at his worried expression. "Do you have a name?"

"Loretta, look I am really sorry, I will be on my way- I didn't mean to cause so much trouble."

/\/\/\/\/\page break/\/\/\/\/\

The plane ride to Washington state wasn't that bad. Loretta didn't try to talk to me, which was good, and the food was decent.

… I don't really know what to think, what to say. In my mind or in real life. I was leaving everything I knew behind to live with my grandparents. Possibly the most boring people in the world. We had been flying for about a half an hour and I already hated the silence. New York was so alive, bustling and moving. Seattle was a major city though, I was sure that all would be well.

-

"What do you mean we're not moving to Seattle? You said-"

"I said we would be landing in Seattle, that was all. Really dear you must learn to pay attention."

I sighed and tried again. "Then where are we going to be living?"

"Forks."

"Forks?" Who the fuck names a town after dinnerware?

"Yes, oh darling you'll love it. It's quiet and peaceful and so picturesque."

"Ok, will there be any more surprises that I should be aware about before we land? I don't have to share a room with Loretta do I?"

"No darling. Now put on your seatbelt we're about to land."

Ok so maybe not all would be well.

My sister was insane! Absolutely, one hundred percent insane!

We're barely in this God forsaken wetland for 12 hours and she already runs away and almost kills her self. Stupid girl. I parked the car and slammed the door, stomping up to the little house I banged on the door as hard as I could. A man in a wheelchair opened it.

"Hello."

"Where is she?"

"Where is who?"

"That idiot girl who thinks it's a good idea to tread into a riptide!"

"You must be her sister."

Unfortunately. I take a deep breath "would you be so kind as to lead me to her?"

"Of course."

He led me to a tiny room at the back of the house.

'Thank you."

He nodded an left.

Taking another deep breath I open the door. Inside the small room were my sister and a man I didn't know. I caught her eye.

"What the fuck were you doing?!"

Loretta and the man exchanged a glance.

"We fly all the fucking way to Forks fucking Washington for you to leave me with Grandma and Grandpa! To abandon me in this fucking wetland all on my own?"

I feel the tears collect in my eyes and quickly blink them away. I couldn't deal with loosing her too, despite her being the pain in the ass that she was.

"I wasn't thinking."

"Obviously. Get your things, we're going. You need a warm shower and a fresh set of cloths."

I grabbed her things from the floor and saw her and that guy share a look. I quickly looked away it looked like they were having an exceedingly intimate moment, which was weird since they had met about three hours ago. Things sure were weird in Forks Washington.


	3. First Day of School

"It's okay, you are okay right? No aches, pains, nothing broken?" he said calming down immensely. I shook my head at him. He brushed a wet strand of hair out my face. " My name is Paul. I won't hurt you so you can stop looking so frightened." I felt his laugh run through me. For whatever reason, I felt so safe sitting here with him; which was dumb because he was a strange, very large man whom I didn't know.

"I'm really sorry"

"It's done with- let's just concentrate on making you better. Listen you dropped your bag before you ran into the water. I called the emergency number-the girl who picked up said she was your sister. I handed the phone to my friend Sam. He said she would be on her way. I don't know what he told her." I groaned as I tried to sit up. My head starting whirling and I felt sick. "Whoa, Loretta, lay down, you've obviously had a rough day."

"Can you ask Sam what he told my sister?"

"Uh" he rubbed the back of his head "he went home and the phone is in the other room. I don't think I should leave you."

"I won't run off, I made a mistake. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Yes, you do, so why don't you just tell me. Maybe I can help you"

"Paul, just drop it. Thank you for saving me-I owe you but why I did what I did is my business and doesn't concern you." It was only then that I realized that our faces were only inches away from each other. The hurt on his face was evident, however it confused me. A heard a faint knock on the door and then I heard my sister. The next thing I knew she was in the room staring me down.

"What the fuck were you doing?!" Paul looked at me and I couldn't force my eyes away from his. "We fly all the fucking way to Forks fucking Washington for you to leave me with Grandma and Grandpa! To abandon me in this fucking wetland all on my own?"

"I wasn't thinking."

"Obviously. Get your things, we're going. You need a warm shower and a fresh set of clothes." Thea picked up what I assumed was my jacket from the floor. I looked at Paul one last time before I felt a hand clamp down on my arm.

"Thank you, Paul"

"I'll see you soon." In my shock, I merely nodded. I felt Thea pulling me out of the room. She opened the car door and waited for me to climb into the seat.

"Thea, I can buckle myself."

"Obviously you need to be watched, otherwise you do crazy things. What the fuck were you thinking Loretta? I knew you were crazy, but suicidal? I mean come on. That is a little daytime drama don't you think? Yeah our parents are dead but that does not give you an excuse you go off and croak too? What the fuck?"

"I wasn't trying to kill myself, Theadora" she scoffed at that "I don't know what I was thinking. I saw the water and I decided to go for a swim. The water was too strong. I messed up, I won't do it again."

"You are supposed to be the older one. That is a load of shit, Etta and you know it. You call me the selfish one? That guy could have died trying to save you from your swim" She put the finger quotations around "swim". " But that doesn't phase you. God wait till Grandma-"

"You can't tell her! They can't know!"

"Why not? You need help _Laurel _, maybe they'll put you on some meds like mom." I ignored the mom comment.

"Please, I will do whatever it takes. I am not crazy, I do not need to explain my reasons to you, but please-"

"Whatever it's your life big sis. Don't do it again. What the hell was up with you and that guy?"

"Nothing-what are you talking about?"

"The tension and the electricity in the room was choking me."

"Now who's being dramatic?"

"Whatever don't tell me. You wonder why don't have a sisterly relationship. You don't talk about anything and I talk about everything. "We had gotten back to our house by then. Thea proceeded to drag me into the house. "Go take a shower; I will be up with some food later." I was rather surprised at her civility. In fact she was being nice.

"Teddy?"

"Oh so it's Teddy now?"

"Shut up" I reached over and hugged her as tightly as I could. "I am sorry I scared you. I am a crappy big sister."

"Yup-but you have your moments." I got ready to go shower and the hot water relaxed my muscles. My mind drifted to the silence of the ocean around me. I imagined I was back in the warmth of Paul's arms. Whoa-Loretta, what are you thinking? You don't even know him. Thea had left me some Mac and Cheese in my room. My stuff was unpacked. Grandma's maids must have done it. I searched the room for my pajamas. After I ate my dinner I fell asleep dreaming of Paul…

Today is my first day of school and I am a nervous wreck. I made friends right away, which was a relief. New people are sort of a novelty at Forks High. Everyone was very interested in me and what I had to say. Samantha Carmichael was really nice and we exchanged numbers. I met so many people. The teachers were really nice. I was missing home a little. My friends at home weren't really my friends; they were just people that I hung out with for Mom and Dad.

"Loretta there is a huge party this weekend and you need to go!" my new friend said to me.

"I don't know Sam.." I really did not want to go to a party. I heard it was on First Beach. I think one disaster on a beach was enough for me. Plus I really didn't drink, I didn't like the taste.

"You'll meet new people.."

"I'll call you when I decide." She smiled triumphantly. I felt bad since I was going to break her spirit.

"Loretta, you are going to the party on Friday. You need to get out."

"Teddy I am not going, it's not happening."

"Yes you are-otherwise I will tell Grandma"

"You wouldn't dare"

"Do you want to try me?"

"Fine, I'll go but-"

"Yes! Loretta this is going to be so fun. You need to loosen up. You can meet my new friends. Relax and breathe Loretta. You'll be fine."

An hour later I had an outfit picked out and had called Sam to inform her I would be making an appearance. I didn't want to play babysitter to Thea, been there done that. I absently wondered if Paul would be there. Loretta what are you thinking? What was I getting myself into?

Loretta's been acting weird the last couple of days. Well more weird then usual. She keeps drifting off into dreamland and I don't know what to do about it. I caught her humming the other day, something she hadn't done in ages, and it really freaked me out. It sounded suspiciously like "So This is Love". But the even weirder thing was that whenever I asked her about it she just blushed and ran away.

Aagggh! Why were girls so weird.

Public school. That was going to be weird seeing as how I had worn a uniform since kindergarten. It was weird none of my classes were connected, I really hope it didn't rain as I was making my way to my next class. But as usual as soon as the words had been thought the grey sky opened and rain poured down.

Great, just great.

And if the torrents of rain didn't suck enough, the person who just barreled into me causing me to drop all of my stuff did.

Bastard didn't even apologize.

"Bastard."

I turned to the person who had just spoken.

"My sentiments exactly."

The person who had just spoken turned out to be Kevin, the old new kid. He had moved up from San Diego a few years ago, and was still morning the loss of his tan. He was tall, with pale skin, bright blue eyes and a mop of black hair. He was the first non-wet land person I had meet all day.

He helped me pick up my stuff and we made our way to our next class. After suffering through biology together he was officially declared my soul mate. We had absolutely everything in common, including our love for men in uniform. A lovely quirk I thought I would have to leave in New York.

It had reached the end of the day and I had offered to drive Kevin home, to escape from the wretchedness that was public transport when Loretta joined us.

"So first day did you meet any new people."

"Yeah. Loretta this is Kevin."

"Loretta?" he mouthed at me with an odd look and I just shrugged and rolled my eyes.

After they shock hands I got right to my point I had been really nice to her that last few days and I deserved a reward.

"I promised Kevin that I would give him a ride home."

"Did you?"

"Yeah, so can I have the keys?"

Loretta laughed, "You do want him to still be your friend at the end of the ride right?"

"One almost, barely countable, incident and I am no longer allowed to drive? Fine."

"So when you say one, you mean like ten right?"


	4. Bonfire Night

Bonfire Night

My hands were shaking on the way to the party. Of course, Thea was completely oblivious to my nervousness. Kevin seemed really awesome. He was probably the only thing that kept me sane through the ride. I got out of the car and Thea had already taken off.

"Yeah, it'll be sooo much fun" I said to myself. I started to walk towards the beach. My mind went to the last time I was here. I was so lost. I am not any surer of myself now, but at least I am sane. In the distance I heard someone shout ,"Loretta!" and I saw Sam running towards me.

"I am so glad you came, girl this is going to be great" she said taking my hand and pulling me towards a group of people. She loudly announced, "This is Loretta!" and the group turned to look at me. She went around and introduced everyone. I was surprised at how friendly everyone was. A drink was shoved into my hand. I took a sip and smiled. It tasted awful. This was going to be my cup for the night. I chatted with different people. Most had already had a lot to drink so they were amusing.

"So your name is Loretta, huh?" a cute guy said to me.

"Yeah"I nodded

"Cool, I am Brian"

"It's nice to meet you."

"So you're from New York"

"Yeah, you from Forks?"

"Yeah, born and raised." Brian and I talked for a while. He was really funny. Apparently he was in a few of my classes. "My girlfriend would love you, Loretta" he said and he pulled me over to a small redhead. I felt dumb, but shook it off. "Trish, this is Loretta. Loretta this is Trish" At first she eyed me like she didn't like me. However he leaned over and kissed her and suddenly she warmed. She introduced me to a whole new group of people. I was pulled onto the dance floor. Suddenly I got very hot and decided to go sit on a log by myself. The wind had picked up and I debated going to get a warmer sweatshirt. Lucky thing the rain was holding off.

"At least you are on dry land this time" I heard a familiar voice. It sent chills through me. I turned in shock.

"Uh, yeah I am more of walker than a swimmer" I said my voice faltering.

"How are you doing, Loretta?" he said.

"Umm, I am doing fine, you remember my name?"

"Yeah, you don't usually forget the name of the girl you save" My cheeks were enflamed by that comment.

"I was actually going to drop by your house tomorrow, to thank you"

"It's not necessary."

"No, Paul, listen, I can't excuse that I put you in danger with my foolishness. Silly me thinking I could swim. I really do apologize. What can I do to make it up to you? How about I'll buy you dinner, or um"

"Loretta, I watched you run into the water, you didn't even try to swim. You don't need to do anything for me but tell me what you were thinking"

"Paul, I wasn't thinking, that was the problem remember?"

"You were so lost in thought, so determined"

"Yeah, I just wanted to swim"

"Take me to dinner" I was surprised at his abrupt subject change.

"Okay, not right now cuz my sister-"

"No, tomorrow night. Then you will tell me what happened"

"Who are you to presume to tell me what I will or will not tell you?"

"I saved your life"

"Yes, and I am eternally grateful. You can't even imagine. However I think my reasons should be kept to myself"

"I need you to tell me"

"What? Why?"

"I'll tell you over dinner –you know what? Every week. Every Saturday night we'll have dinner together"

"Are you crazy?"

"Are _you_ seriously asking me that?"

"Is this blackmail?"

"No, I want to eat dinner with you. If you won't agree-"

"You'll what?"

"I'll speak to your grandmother about it"

" How do you even know? What? You –"

"I would, so do we have a deal? I assure you Loretta, I am not crazy. We can eat wherever you want. But I want to eat with you every Saturday."

"I think my family will get suspicious"

"Fine, tell them I'm your boyfriend" I was shocked. This boy was crazy but so serious.

"Right, only on Saturdays?" I said sarcastically.

"We can hang out more. If it will help you trust me" I didn't know what to do. This was an alarming situation and I wasn't scared at all. In fact, I was thrilled. This was crazy."So?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"You always have one"

"Fine, I'll see you tomorrow night. We'll meet here?"

"Great, Loretta, I think you should head home. People are going to be really drunk and its not safe." He was right so I nodded."I'll walk you to find your sister. I have to find my friend anyway." We walked towards the dance floor.

I walked to the dance floor where I saw Theadora dancing quite horribly. I yelled at her. She yelled back and drank more. She bumped into what I believe was the friend Paul was looking for. Luckily he caught her as she passed out. Freaking great, Thea. It turns out his name was Jacob. He helped me carry her to the car. I went and found Kevin. That was an experience. I had to pull him off some guy. He won't remember it in the morning anyways.

"Do you want me to follow you home to help you carry her in?" Paul said.

"Nahh that's okay, Kevin can help me. I'm used to this." He looked concerned but nodded. The next thing I knew he had me in a hug and kissed me on the top of the head. Before I could even react he was walking away. "I'll see you here at six Loretta. Sleep tight." He turned and gave me a smile.

Although Kevin was pretty trashed he helped me carry Thea in. The two of them crashed on the bed. Oh they were going to regret that tomorrow. I laughed to myself. I had a big day tomorrow.

I arrived at the beach and stepped out of Kevin's car, dragging Loretta with me. I had to admit that it did seem to be a bit better than what I had expected. There was a huge bonfire set up on the beach surrounded by buckets filled with what would appear to be beer.

"Classy."

"Isn't it just?"

Somehow in the first twenty minutes of my arrival I was convinced that a game of flip-cup would be a good idea. 12 rounds later I was convinced it was the best fucking idea on the planet.

"Chug Ted, come on chug it!"

"Let's go Teddy!"

Slamming the cup top down on the table, I used all my sober concentration on flipping it over, it had miraculously gotten easier the more I had consumed. On my fifth attempt I flipped the cup successfully and every one cheered.

"Suck it bitches!"

A round of shots and dancing like an idiot quickly followed the winning of the greatest game in the world. Someone was blasting their I pod through their car stereo and I found myself sandwiched between two people I didn't think I knew. That was how Loretta found me.

Shit. Hehehehehe

"Theadora Leighlynn Tremaine what the fuck do you think your doing?"

"Loretta!!!! I'm soooo happy to see you, both of you actually!"

"Are you drunk?"

"NO!!! heheheheheh. Yes!" stupid giggles.

"You can't be serious?"

"I'm having fun, isn't that what you're supposed to do at a party?"

I grabbed a passing shot and downed it before Loretta could take it way from me.

"Thea!"

"What?"

"I can't believe you're doing this."

"Oh God."

"I hope you're happy with yourself."

"I am very happy, now just do me a favor and get tipsy." I handed her a beer and shooed her away.

"I LOVE THIS SONG!"

Did I really, who knows, it sounded fun.

Time seemed to fly dancing in that group of people, and when I broke away to get a drink, I slammed right back into something. I didn't even feel myself fall, I just ended up landing on my ass and finding it the funniest thing ever.

But when I looked up and caught the glance of the thing I walked into all laughter left me. He was so tall, and standing in front of the fire made his copper skin glow. I felt my heart slow and speed up at the same time, and that my legs would give out any second despite the fact that I was already on the ground.

"Are you alright?" his voice was so deep and smooth, like chocolate.

All I could manage was a nod. He helped me up and I was taken aback by his strength, so taken aback that everything went black.

The next morning everything hurt. Light was an evil intention, as was movement.

"Oh God."

A blob moved next to me and I thought I was going to be sick.

"Blob I order you to stop moving!"

"Ugh."

Wisps of black hair where revealed and I had a sudden flash back to the beautiful boy I had bumped into last night.

I ripped back the covers and felt oddly disappointed that it was only Kevin.

"Teddy you bitch, give me back the wondrous light blocker."

What the hell was happening?

We finally stumbled downstairs and were greeted with torture. Stupid Loretta.

"Good morning!"

"Ugh." She had made an extra smelly breakfast, opened all the shades, and I just know she convinced Grandma and Grandpa to wear obnoxiously bright colored clothing this morning.

"How are you this wonderful and sun filled morning?"

"Bite me."

"That's not very polite."

"Ugh, why does God hate me?" Kevin stumbled in next to me and I heard Grandma gasp.

"He's gay right?" I heard her not so subtle whisper.

"Yeah."

I picked at my breakfast and drank cup after cup of coffee. It was weird, whenever I tried to think about what happened the night before it was all a blur, except for that guy. I didn't even know his name and he was all I could think about. Why was me meeting him the only thing I could remember from last night? And why did I feel that weird sensation of my heart speeding up and slowing down at the same time at the mere thought of him?

What the hell was going on.


	5. The First Date

I was so nervous at 5:00, I didn't know what to wear and I didn't know how to do my hair or make-up. I didn't even know how what to talk about. I was pacing around my room when I made a decision. I could pick out an outfit myself, or I could ask my sister for help. Being an artist meant that she was good with colors. She was also brutally honest when it came to what looked good on me.

"Why do I even care? He's just a boy, a crazy boy" I said out loud

"Loretta I know you're crazy but you are a girl" Thea walked into my room.

"That's not what I was talking about. Listen, can you help me?"

"With what?"

"I need you to help me pick out an outfit"

"You are going to trust me-your horrible sister , to help you pick out an outfit?" I nodded. "What are we picking out this outfit for?"

"Dinner with a boy" I cringed as I said it.

"Loretta Tremaine is going out with a boy?" she said incredulously.

"Yeah, please don't make a big deal, Teddy, just help me"

"Who is it?"

"Paul, I am paying him back for helping me"

"Whose idea?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything-whose?"

"I asked, he said no then changed his mind. Now we are going out to dinner every Saturday" I had no idea why I felt the need to explain this to her.

"Every Saturday?"

"Yeah, his idea- "

"Wow Loretta, someone actually likes you"

"Nice, Thea-please help me"

"Wear your dark jeans with your pretty coral top. Leave your hair down, its looks better that way. Light make-up. I have the car tonight"

"No, I need it, please I'll trade three nights"

"Nope, I'll drop you off. I kind of want to see him again anyway. Loretta?" I turned to look at her angrily. "Do you remember that boy that I danced into last night?"

"You remember? Wow, I am shocked. Yeah, he was Paul's friend."

"Um, well do you think you could find out about him?"

"Yeah, I mean I could ask Paul. Why do you care? Does somebody have a crush?"

"NO! I just wanted to apologize. Get ready, we are getting in the car in an hour, I have to stop at the bank" She left the room as quickly as she came in. I got dressed and started to straighten my hair. Loretta, seriously you need to calm down. Why are you even straightening your hair? I put on my converse. When I was tying my shoe, the TV turned to some talk show.

"What do guys want?" said the talk show host.

"Attention. Just pay attention to them and actually care" said a man on the stage. I changed the station to a music channel. You could tell me all about boys and it still wouldn't make sense. My mind drifted to Paul. I remembered being in his arms and his kiss. I felt myself blushing. Sure enough I looked in the mirror and my cheeks looked like tomatoes. I started doing my make-up. I can proudly say I only poked myself in the eye once. Victory!

"Etta! Let's go" I hear my sister yell. I walked down the stairs and she wolf-whistled. "Don't you look all pretty? My sister, all grown up"

"Can it Theadora. I'm driving." I took the keys from her. The ride to the beach went by in split second. I went to step out the car. "I'll call you when I get back. See you later" She wiggled her fingers at me.

"Have fun- be good" I rolled my eyes at her. I was early so I went to sit on a bench that was close to the beach. I was humming to myself to calm down. I realized what I was doing and stopped.

"Yeah- I had you pegged as an early girl" I heard a voice. I involuntarily smiled.

"Yeah, can't help it. Plus my sister was in a rush. Look, Paul I don't have my car so we'll have to -"

"Ha-like I was going to let you drive. Did you get home alright?" I nodded.

"Kevin helped me carry Thea in. Speaking of which, your friend, what was his name again?" Paul's face got angry.

"Why do you want to know?" he spit at me.

"My sister wanted to apologize. He is your friend, right?"

"Yeah, uh it's Jacob. He actually wanted to see her." He seemed to regret his anger. "I thought we'd go to a little restaurant for our first Saturday. I hope that's okay." I nodded. We started to walk towards the car. I tripped over a twig and was surprised when a hand shot out to steady me. "Can you try to stay upright for this?"

"Sorry" I said. He surprised me by opening the door for me. I climbed in while he got in the other side. We didn't talk for the ride, just listened to the radio. When we reached the restaurant, he was by my door before I could open it. He took my hand to help me out, but he didn't let it go. He was so warm. We sat at the table the waitress pointed to. We both ordered drinks. I started to look around the restaurant. It was a bunch of couples. I vaguely heard my name and then I felt warmth of my face. Paul turned my head toward him. I smiled sheepishly and then looked away and back. He was still staring at me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I checked my reflection in the rear view mirror before backing up and out of the beach parking lot. I had to find him, I had to talk to him. Tell him…tell him what? That I was drunk yet all I remember was him. He probably thinks I'm some drunk hussy or some dick heads slutty girlfriend. I had find him to apologize.

I had just turned down a fairly deserted road when white smoke started to emerge from under the car hood.

"No! no no no no no no!!!!"

This was not happening to me, not in the middle of nowhere. I pulled over and dug out my cell phone and found AAA's number. I actually had hope until the lack of bars on my phone made it come crashing down.

Stupid Forks stupid Washington!!

"AAAAHHHHHHGGGGG!"

Beating on the steering wheel helped, but I knew I would have to eventually pop the hood and try to discover what was wrong with my car. Turning it off I popped the hood and begrudgingly left the car to look at the maze of pipes and machinery.

After the ensuing coughing fit was over I checked the vitals like mom's chauffer had taught me to do, but I still couldn't tell what was wrong with it. Great I was stuck in the middle of nowhere with no reception and-my stomach growled-nothing to eat.

Fuck. My. Life.

"Hello."

I jumped and screamed, spinning around I came face to well chest , of the man who had scared my. Looking up to give him a piece of my mind I instantly stopped.

"You-?"

He was even more perfect then I remembered, which wasn't surprising given the circumstances. I felt that weird fast-slow sensation in my chest again and I had to remind my self to breath.

"I didn't mean to scare you, but I heard your car horn."

I looked around, "really?", we were surrounded by woods. But that didn't matter he was here now. I had to bite my lip to keep in the dramatic damsel in distress sigh. God I was pathetic.

We just stood there for what seemed like eternity just staring at each other and smiling. Why was he, a complete stranger, so intriguing?

"So what's wrong with your car?"

"Huh?" Stay in this world please.

"You seem to be having car trouble, can I be of any assistance to you?"

"Oh! Yes please."

He smiled again and made his way to the car and I almost melted. Oh my God get a hold of yourself Teddy. I watched him bend over the car and poke around under the hood, and I made the huge mistake to try and help him. Note to self: never touch anything under the hood of a car….ever.

"Owowowowowowow!!!"

"God are you ok?"

"NO!! God you idiot Teddy, what the hell were you thinking?!"

"Here, let me see."

He cupped my shaking hand in his larger ones and I was shocked at how warm his skin was. He rubbed his fingers over the burn and brought my palm to his lips, placing a gentle kiss in the red skin. As if the sensation of his touch wasn't bad enough his kiss had melted me into a single-celled organism. Whoa.

But it didn't last very long, as he immediately snapped back to full height and had a very panicked look on his face.

"Sorry, that was very forward and awkward."

"No that's ok, beside I should be the one apologizing. I was the one who past out drunkenly into your arms. Which doesn't happen all the time by the way. Just something you should know." I smiled. God Teddy shut up, he'll get freaked out and leave.

"Nah, it's fine you should see my friend Quil get drunk, he gets in his head that we all want to see him naked."

"Well sorry again."

"Let me make it up to you."

"I get drunk and slam into you and you want to make it up to me? I don't think I have ever met a guy like you before."

"How bout you were dancing and tripped and since it's my beach it's my fault an I'll take you to dinner to make up for it."

"It's your beach?"

"Will you just accept the date so I can see you again?"

"Oh right, yes."

"Good."

It wasn't until then that I noticed that he was still holding my hand, I also came to the conclusion that I never wanted him to let go.

"So I should probably fix your car."

"Yeah that might be helpful, later." You smooth talker you!

After Jacob, I finally gathered enough brainpower to ask his name, fixed my car I practically floated home. More than once I had to pull over to freak out in excitement. He promised to pick me up at First Beach next Friday at 7, and I was already counting down the days.

Once home I couldn't stop smiling, Grandma even commented on how unnatural my behavior was. It went so far as me actually being openly nice to my sister.

I didn't know what this feeling was but I didn't want it to stop.


	6. A Giddy Sensation All Round

Loretta's POV

"What do you want for dinner?" he said.

"I was thinking spaghetti. You?"

"Cheeseburgers"

"Sounds good"

"Are you going to be awkward the whole time?"

"What?"I said slightly insulted.

"Talk, Loretta"

"Uh-what would you like to talk about?"

"Why did you try to drown yourself?"

"I didn't and why do you care so much?"

"I'll tell you on our fifth Saturday"

"What?"

"In a month, I'll tell you."

"Okay."

"Fine, if you are going to be difficult, what is your favorite color?"

"Red, yours?"

"Orange" I laughed at that. "It's a good color. Favorite food"

"Macaroni and Cheese- you?"

"Everything" I laughed again and gave him a look. The waitress returned and we ordered. He ordered a lot. I didn't say anything. The questioning game continued until our food came. He ate quickly.

"Paul, breathe. Don't you eat at home?"

"I am a growing boy" I smiled. "Tell me something about you that I don't know."

"I am terrified of heights. My grandparents considered sedating me on the plane ride. I settled for the aisle seat." I said surprised I even answered him.

"I am not afraid of heights at all." He said.

"Wow, Paul that was a good secret."

"Why do you live with your grandparents?" I was dreading that question. He could tell I was uncomfortable and he put his hand over mine on the table.

"Uh.. see a few weeks ago, my parents were on a yacht and there was a storm and" I felt the tears start to flow. "Excuse me" I abruptly got up and ran to the bathroom. I tried to calm down but I felt myself hyperventilating. Fortunately I had already paid. Paul tried but I told him that I owed him. He was angry but let it go. I had seen his hand shake. When he noticed he put it under the table. I heard a knock on the door a few minutes later.

"Loretta? Let me in. Come on Loretta. It's okay, it's me." His voice had a calming effect. "We'll just go outside and get some fresh air. We don't even need to talk." I realized then that I hadn't locked the door. My face looked ridiculous in the mirror. I saw the door handle move. I went to reach for it when the door creaked open. Paul looked so worried, I almost forgot about my pain. He reached for me and I recoiled. He took a step back and put his hand out. I took it. As we walked out I turned my face toward him so people wouldn't see my face. He pulled me to a bench next to restaurant. I didn't say anything, I just wiped my face. I shivered when I realized I forgot my jacket inside. I went to get up to get it." I have it." He said. He put my arms in to it. I was so embarrassed.

"I'm sorry" He put his arm around me.

"Don't be silly. You have every reason-"

"No, I shouldn't lose control of my emotions. I apologize. I most certainly won't put my problems on you. That was very selfish. My parents died. I'm not the first one"

"Loretta, this must be killing you. You need to talk about it."

"Next week. That is if you still want to eat dinner with me."

"I will always want to eat dinner with you" he said fiercely.

"Why?"

"It's not the fifth week is it? You'll just have to stick around." He smiled at me. He was so handsome. We just sat there watching each other. I didn't understand the connection I felt with him. "I should get you home." I looked at my watch and nodded. He opened the car door for me. I explained to him how to get to my house. When he pulled into the driveway, all the lights were off. "I'm sorry, it seems everyone is asleep" He opened my door and took my hand. We walked up to the door. "I'll see you next week, same place same time." He turned to walk away.

"Can I see you earlier? We could go see a movie, or just take a walk, or wave at each other." I laughed at him.

"Yeah, call me." He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. I watched him drive away through the window. I think I am in like, I thought. What would the coming weeks bring?

Teddy's POV

When Loretta got home from her date there was something different about her. I couldn't put my finger on it but there was defiantly something up. She didn't stop smiling, I was kinda creeping me out.

"So, how was your date?"

"It was alright."

"Only 'alright'?"

"We talked, we smiled-"

"Did ya kiss?"

She blushed. "Oh my God you did! Go Loretta!"

"I am neither confirming or denying that statement."

"Which means that you did!"

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does. You blushed."

"So I could have blushed at any number of things."

I snorted, "like?"

"Well firstly- the fact that we didn't kiss! Second the thought of a kiss, and third-" she paused.

"There is no third."

"Yes there is!"

"So what is it?"

"Third is that you just blurted out a private thought or feeling,"

"Oh please."

"You really should watch that mouth of yours Thea, you could hurt someone's feelings and not even realize it."

"I can't watch my mouth, it's below my nose." Loretta made an irate noise. "And further more during that little morality speech you just gave me you turned ten different shades of red, which means I didn't hurt your feelings I hit the nail on the head. So even if you didn't kiss him you know you want to, and know so do I. I know you Loretta and don't you go get self-righteous to me just because I do."

I turned and left, I loved it when I was right.

___

I caught myself writing 'Mrs. Jacob Black' in my notes on more than one occasion during first period. I just couldn't stop thinking about him, and that made me so unbelievably giddy and so unbelievably confused. I had just met him two days ago, and I was already planning our wedding and imagining what our children looked like. I didn't know anything about him, but that didn't seem to matter, he was already perfect to me.

"Teddy? Hello."

"Huh?" I turned to the voice that had just called my name, and found Kevin smiling a very knowing smile.

"You were off in a different dimension."

"Oh, sorry."

"So are you gonna tell me who put that goofy smile on your face."

"How do you know it a 'who'?"

He pulled my notes away and started reading what I had scribbled in the margins. "Mrs. Teddy Black, Mrs. Jacob Black, TT+JB=4 ever, should I continue?"

I grabbed my notes back with a smile, "ok so it is a who."

"So… are you gonna tell me about him or not?"

"Do you remember that guy I danced into and collapsed on at that party."

He gave me a look.

"Ok fair point, and I probably would have either but the minute I looked into his eyes I felt as if the ground had been ripped out from under me. Every time I close my eyes I see him ,whenever he smiles I just melt, he could kill my entire family and then give me a smile and I wouldn't care and…"

"And…!"

"He is so... there are no words. He has to be the most beautiful man I have ever seen."

Kevin, who was on the edge on his seat, sighed, "lucky bitch."

"Kevin!"

He pouted, "I want one."

"Well I have a date with him this Friday so I'll ask if he has any single friends."

"You had better."

The day seemed to fly by, mostly because I couldn't be bothered to leave dreamland. I let Loretta drive with out a fight, all I could do was look at the hood of the car and sigh. I looked at my watch, 2:30 MO, I just had to wait until 8:30 FR to see Jacob. God it was going to be a long wait.


	7. A Slightly Nauseous Feeling

Loretta's POV

For someone so selfish, my sister is very perceptive. She, of course, teased me about my date with Paul. One thing I should mention about myself is that I blush very easily. I hate it! My mother used to say she was jealous, "Loretta, you are lucky- you have a natural blush. Most women would kill for that"

I would simply respond with a, "They don't need to kill, they can have it". She would walk away in a huff about how I was ungrateful with my God-given gifts. Sure, I don't need to use blush but I also can't hide my feelings. This very problem came into play on Wednesday. Paul called and asked me to go to Port Angeles with him. He had earned some extra money and needed to go clothes shopping. He said he needed a female's perspective. While I was getting ready to go, Thea came in my room.

"Where are you going?"

"Paul is picking me up, he needs some help shopping"

"You hate shopping and it's not like you have a very unique style"

"I hate shopping with Mom, or hated, and my style is fine. I am sure he is just looking for a second opinion."

"Or just wants to spend time with you"

"That's not it"

"Face it Loretta, you have someone that likes you. Why aren't you celebrating? Finally someone to take my sister!" she said dramatically.

"Whatever Thea" Whatever Paul felt for me was going to pass. If he felt anything at all. Until then I was going to take every moment I could with him. That was going to hurt me later, but for now it's all I have.

"Are you in love with him?"

"I most certainly am not! I haven't known him long enough for such a declaration" Declaration?

"You should know right away"

"Well not all of us look at things through an artist eyes," I said doing finger quotations around the word artist. She huffed and left. God, she always knew exactly what to say to upset me. I walked downstairs just as Paul pulled up. I ran out the door, through the rain, into his car.

"Hi" I said, a bit out of breath.

"Hey! Thanks for doing this, especially in this weather" he said, brushing a raindrop off my cheek. Paul chatted happily for the ride to the store. I listened intently, responding when appropriate. We got out of the car and he was quickly at my side, shielding me with his jacket. We wandered around the store and I picked out things here and there. I secretly chose some things that he would look goofy in. We walked towards the dressing room.

"Okay, you have to show me everything, okay?"

"Sure Loretta" He put on the first three outfits, which all looked great on him. I heard a growl when the fourth outfit was being put on. "What is this?"

"What?" I said innocently. He walked out in a dress shirt and a pair of dark wash pants, with a chain on them. Totally not his style.

"You and I both know I would never wear this"

"Hmm, I don't know where that came from"

"Funny" he turned around and walked back into the dressing. Suddenly he came back out.

"Pink?"

"I hear real men wear it"

"Nope, just guys that are worried about their masculinity"

"And you are not in that category?"

"Have you seen me?"

"Yup" He smiled at me and walked back into the room. He bought three pairs of shorts and two shirts in all. They all looked great on him and I wasn't being biased.

"You hungry?" I nodded. He took my hand, which of course made me blush." What?"

"What?"

"You are blushing"

"No I'm not"

"Yeah- you are"

"It's just hot in here" I said convincingly. He smirked and we walked into the sandwich shop. We chatted over subs. He asked me questions about myself and I asked him some. I talked about my old school. He talked about his reservation. He dropped me off at home and kissed me on the cheek. I ran into my house before he could see my burning face. I thought I heard him laugh.

Friday I found out that Thea was going on a date with Jacob. She looked so nervous, that I almost felt bad for her. However, this was payback. Before she left she said, "There is a present in the front room for you. I think one of dad's friends sent it" I ran downstairs excitedly. There was something big covered with a note on top. All it said was – Your parents would have wanted you to have this. I took the sheet off the top and was met with a grand piano. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I cried on that floor until I had no more tears.

Thea's POV

I may have teased Loretta when she was getting ready for her first date with Paul, but I had no idea that it could be so gut wrenching. There were so many possibilities to do with one's self I didn't know where to begin. Probably finding clothes that weren't covered in paint was my first step. Why did I have to have a messy hobby? I couldn't knit? No I had to paint and get it everywhere in the process. Holding up the tenth zillionth shirt with paint splatters down the back I gave up, I didn't even know how that got there. I would just raid Loretta's closet.

I eventually settled for tastefully paint spattered jeans and a grey mini dress. Plus my pirate boots, they had gotten me through some hard times. I braided my hair and actually tried with make up; third time's the charm.

I ran down stairs and grabbed the keys off the hook.

"Can I have the car? Thanks bye!"

"Whoa who whoa, hold up there missy. Where do you think your going?"

Missy? Loretta couldn't be serious?

"Out."

"Out with who?"

"No one."

I must have said my answer to fast because she got this looking in her eyes. The 'I know where you're going and I find it highly amusing that you think you can get away with it' look. It was one of her very own specially crafted for moments such like these.

"Is it a certain friend of Paul's that may or may not of caught you when you fell?"

"No!"

"Tell me about it when you get back?"

I was not going to - I sighed it was a lost battle anyway. "Alright."

"Have fun, be good."

Stupid older sisters.

Jacob met me on First Beach promptly at 8:30, and instead of leading me to the other car that was parked in the lot, handed me a helmet and helped me mount his motorcycle. God I was in love with him already. Wrapping my arms around his torso I rested my chin on his broad shoulder.

"So where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"I love surprises."

"I thought you might."

And we were off, whizzing by beaches and forests until we reached… Candyland. How far did we go?

"Candyland?"

"You'll like it I promise."

He got off his bike first and instead of helping me down he completely picked me up.

"Whoa!"

He just laughed, and pulled me along. When we past through the large wooden gate I stopped short. It was a 20's style amusement park, complete with original merry-go-round.

"Jacob this…it's perfect."

"I was exploring one day and I found it, then when I met you it reminded me of you."

"What do you mean exploring? What were you doing this far from Forks?"

A weird emotion passed over his face before he replied, "I've got the bike, why not go explore." Then he smiled and all was well again.

"Speaking of exploring…"

I was the one who did the pulling.

-

I had never had a better time in my life. In those two hours I spent with Jacob a smile never left my face. We went on the Ferris wheel, merry-go-round, Jacob even won the strength test. Not that I was surprised. And to top off this wonderful night he even let me drive his motorcycle, though major puppy dog eyes were required.

We stopped at the beach, and Jacob practically jumped off the bike. He did look a bit green.

"You alright?" I asked taking off my helmet

"Yeah fine, just a little bit dizzy."

"I'm not that bad of a driver."

"No of course you're not, just a bit of a led foot." He took a deep breath, "there all better now."

"I'm sorry I made you nauseous. I tend to have that effect on people when we're in the car. I swear the only reason I passed my driving test was because my mom paid him off."

"Eh no worries, I heal fast anyway."

"Ok good," I didn't want to say good-bye; I wanted this to last forever. "I should probably go, it's getting late."

"Yeah. When can I see you again?"

Whenever you want, every second of every day till the day that I die! "I don't know. I don't have much planned for this weekend I have a biology project to put off so…"

"How 'bout tomorrow around 2, I'll bring my homework, we can put it off together."

"Excellent plan, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah see ya." He bent don't and kissed the corner of my mouth. I had to bit my lip to keep from screaming. His put on his helmet and got back on his bike.

I made my way to my car and let out a silent scream.

"You know I can see your reflection in the window right?"

I span around so fast I nearly toppled over. "That's fine. I wasn't doing anything anyways."

He just chuckled and sped off.

If I didn't stop acting like a 13 year-old fangirl he would stop finding it cute, smarten up and leave me for a more intelligent woman with larger breasts. Keep it all in and gush to Kevin, that was the plan.

I got in the car and started toward my house. Crap what was I going to wear tomorrow.


	8. The Piano Incident

Loretta's POV

The room was spinning around me as I leaned my head against the bathtub. Why did God want me to suffer? I don't know how long I sat there for. I just stared at my hands. I looked over towards the mirror and my face looked awful. I didn't care. I heard a knock on the door and heard Thea's voice asking to come in. I mumbled, "I guess so". She walked in trying to look composed but I could tell she was worried at my current situation. She kept apologizing. It wasn't her fault; it totally could have been a treadmill. I laughed at that thought. That would be cruel, you're parents would have wanted you to have this. Thea told me left her cello in the bathroom at the airport. I wish I had been there when the security guards found it.

Thea and I had a moment, like a serious sister moment. I wasn't handling life and she was. She was so worried about me that she even suggested that we play the game of Life, my favorite game. I nodded eagerly, while she groaned. We talked over the game. She spoke about Kevin and Jacob. I told her I approved of Kevin and she almost gave a smart-ass remark. However she held it in. I applauded. I told her about my giving Paul odd clothes to try on.

"You? Sweet, do-gooder, angelic Loretta tried to play a trick"

"Yup!" I beamed. She looked flabbergasted, then quite proud. We went to bed shortly after that. I slept dreamlessly. We woke up to hear Grandma on the phone.

"Yes, I would like it to be tuned today, thank you" she saw me walk into the kitchen. "Oh, honey the tuner is coming so you can play for me later!" she said excitedly and left. I no longer felt like eating. I heard them come into the house and I heard him play the beautiful keys on my piano. I turned on my music as loud as I could. I heard the doorbell ring at two. I eventually wandered downstairs and saw a pile of books on the floor. Grandmother and I walked into the front room where my sister was intertwined with a very large guy on the couch. It took all of my strength not to drop the books. All I got out the conversation were the words, "My boyfriend, door closed, and biology" I handed him his books and "reproductive systems". I could not believe my sister. My grandmother watched her walk away, open-mouthed.

"Tell me she isn't like that at home"

"Grandma-this is our home. And yes, that is my sister"

"Ma'am the tuning is all done" All the joy I felt previously from watching my sister, sank to the floor. Grandma walked the man out, thanking him.

"I didn't realize it took five hours, I thought it was an hour process?"

"Yeah…" he said rubbing the back of his head " It's a really nice piano, I wanted it to be perfect" She returned to where I was standing.

"Okay little girl- go play"

"Umm, Grandma not now"

"Go Loretta- I didn't just pay to get that thing tuned so it can look pretty"

"You didn't ask me if I wanted to play it!" I yelled.

"Of course you do, child- now go" I walked slowly over and sat on the bench. My fingers hovered above the keys. I felt like I was going to puke. Again. "Loretta, play something" Her voice echoed in my head. I closed my eyes and began to play. It was beautiful; the sound had gotten even better. I played the whole song. I was vaguely aware that Thea and Jacob had come downstairs. I played until I was sobbing and hitting wrong keys. I looked at my grandmother.

"There, happy?" I ran outside, grabbing the car keys from the hook. I jumped into the car and took off. I drove, not knowing where I was going, until I ended up at a movie theater. I jumped out, bought the first ticket and sat down. I hadn't grabbed my jacket and I was cold with the air conditioner. The previews began. I felt someone warm sit beside me. Annoyed I turned and looked at the person and was surprised to find Paul. "Paul? What are you doing here?"

"Shh-the movie is starting" he put his hand against his lips. I felt his arm go around me and I pulled away. He took my hand, instead. I laid my head against his shoulder. How did he know I was here? Why didn't it bother me?

The movie ended and Paul still didn't let go of my hand. We stood up silently and walked out the door. We walked to my car and he got in. I looked at him curiously.

"I got dropped off, I don't have a car" I nodded at him. I went to start the engine but his hand stopped me. "Care to explain what you were doing here?"

"Seeing a movie, you?"

"Coming to find you"

"How'd you know where I was?"

"Why are you here alone?"

"It's fine to go to the movies alone, people do it all the time"

"Why?"

"There are no complications"

"Like-"

"You get to choose the movie, you can buy whatever you want and you don't have to share and you don't need to explain when you go to the bathroom" I spat.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, how did you find me?"

"Your sister called"

"And?"

"We knew which direction the car went and we drove around till we found it"

"How'd you know what movie?"

"I asked the girl at the counter, there is no one else here today"

"Why did you come?"

"I was worried about you"

"Thank you but I am fine"

"Were you still going to come to dinner?"

"I wouldn't bail on you, that's not right"

"Would you have told me that you took off from home?"

"No" I was being honest. I started the car and began to drive back into town. "I am going to change before dinner, Jacob is at my house so if you still want to go…" I trailed off. Why was screwing this up?

"Yeah, I'll keep an eye on them" We pulled up to the house and I was met with very angry glares of Grandma and Grandpa. Thea looked at me pitifully, Jacob smiled. Drama Drama Drama.

Teddy's POV

"It was so perfect, Kevin you should have seen it. There was a Ferris wheel and a merry-go-round and everything!"

"Oh my God that sounds like so much fun!"

"It's the best! I'm taking you there next weekend, so you don't even have to drop hints."

"You know me so well."

"Jacob even won that strength test, you know the one where you hit the scale with a hammer to dig the bell?"

"Really no one wins that."

"I swear he is all muscle, it's… wonderful." We sighed at the same time and I giggled.

"He even let me drive his _motorcycle."_

"Oh well it was good while it lasted."

"I am a perfectly adequate driver!"

"Uhuh. Speaking of driving, are you while on the phone?"

"Yes."

"I'm hanging up till you park."

"To late I already am parking. Oops"

"Oh God."

"It was an ugly bush anyways."

"What ever you say dear."

"I just have a bit of a led foot."

"A bit?"

I stuck my tongue out at the phone.

"So if your driving didn't scare him away, are you going to see him again?"

"He's coming over tomorrow, we're putting off homework together."

"OOOOOO Miss. Theodora Tremaine are you going to get some Quileute tail tomorrow?"

"No…maybe…oh God I hope so he is so beautiful."

"Speaking of getting some tail, does he have any single friends?"

I stopped trying to open the front door and slapped my forehead, "crap, I completely forgot to ask."

"I'm sure you did, what to distracted by his mere presence?"

"No." I laughed, yes.

"So on to less jealousy causing topics, did you see what Myra Harris had in her hair today?"

"I know it looked liked she shot a bird and clipped it to her head." I switched on the light in the front room and stopped breathing. Oh God.

"Teddy! Teddy are you alright?"

"Kevin I'm going to have to call you back."

"No Teddy, tell me what's wro-"

I couldn't take my eyes off of the piano in the middle of the room. This was what they brought? I only remembered to inhale when the hall light switched on and my Grandmother entered the room.

"Isn't it a beautiful instrument?"

I couldn't answer. Loretta was alone when she opened this. She was alone because I was hurrying to my date and could be bothered. I took a deep breath, but it didn't help.

"What a wonderful thing for Julian to have delivered. Loretta surly must have been missing it."

"Excuse me Grandma, I'm suddenly very tired."

"Of course."

I had barely made the stairs when the first tears fell, how could he do that to her, but more importantly how could _I_ do that to her. Stupid Teddy what else comes in a giant piano sized box!!! I heard small hiccups coming from her bathroom and I wiped away my tears before knocking on the door.

"Loretta?"

"What?" her voice was in that falsetto she always used when she didn't want anyone to know she was upset. It made me hurt.

"Can I come in?"

There was an eternity of pause before a soft "guess so" floated through the door.

Opening the door cautiously I had to take another deep breath. She was sitting against the tub, arms hugging her knees and head bowed. I felt the bile rise in my throat when I saw the vomit in the toilet. I flushed and lit the decorative candles to try and get rid of the smell. I didn't want to face her, I couldn't. Not when it was all my fault.

I finally blew out the last match and slid down next to her, "I'm so sorry Loretta. I didn't know, I didn't even think. Like usual." She stayed quiet; that was the worst. Grabbing a roll of toilet paper from under the sink I blew my nose.

"You should have done what I did and leave it in the JFK bathroom." I laughed.

She finally looked up at me, "you left that unbelievably expensive cello in a bathroom at John F. Kennedy Airport?"

"Mhm," I nodded. "And it wasn't that expensive."

She laughed, it was dry and humorless but it was a laugh. She would be ok if she could laugh.

"I can't believe you did that."

"You're just jealous, I told you to play a smaller instrument." She laughed again and I smiled. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and laid my head against hers, "are you going to be ok?"

She nodded, "eventually."

"Do you want to get out of the bathroom?"

"No not really."

"Oh, well that was more for me, I have to pee."

She gave me a shove, "you selfish brat."

"But you love me," I replied tightening my hold on her.

"Amazingly I do."

"And despite all your repelling faults I love you too."

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you opened it."

"It's alright. You didn't know."

"What else could it have been? Defiantly not one of my brightest moments."

"Well there are so few…"

"Oh shut up."

And for the first time since I could remember she did, and hugged me back. And I knew we were going to be ok.

We actually talked, and it was horrid. I haven't cried so much in my life. Loretta was nowhere near her usually perky self and that piano was still in our front room. We hated it for our different reasons. I hated it because when ever Loretta was sitting at it I was suddenly the valued child, and Loretta hated it because it reminded her of dad. I just wanted to set it on fire and it didn't help that a tuner had been here since eight in the morning plucking and playing the damn thing.

"You can stop now!"

"Theodora! Let the man do his job."

Why did oblivion run in the family.

By 2 o'clock I was ready to pull my hair out so when the obnoxious doorbell went off I was more than happy to relieve all my anger on who ever dared to push that fucking button.

"WHAT?!"

"Is this a bad time?"

"No-yes- its complicated. What are you doing here?"

"It's 2 o'clock, I thought we were going to hang out."

"Crap," I slapped my forehead, "I completely forgot."

"Are you alright? You look…frazzled."

"Frazzled? Yes frazzled in a good word to describe what I am right now." I caught sight of the look that was on his face, "it's complicated."

"I could leave, give you some space, and time to relax."

I launched myself at him and he barely had time to drop his books before I collided with his body and held on for all I was worth.

"I don't want space space is bad space is very very bad I don't want to think anymore please don't make me think anymore."

"I wont." His tone was very calm and the warm hands that were gently rubbing my back made everything better. I didn't even know I was crying until he took my face in his hands and wiped away the tears.

"What's the matter?"

"It's long and complicated."

"Long and complicated? Well we are putting off homework so I couldn't ask for a better thing to procrastinate with."

I laughed " trust me when I say your better off not knowing."

"And trust me when I say that I want to know every part of your life, even the long and complicated parts."

"Really?"

"I would rather spend eternity with you and your complicated parts than anywhere else on the planet."

"Really?" it came out really high and whiny but I didn't care.

"Absolutely."

I sobbed. Not really the reaction a guy would normally hope for after such a declaration, but Jacob didn't seem to mind. He just rewrapped my arms around his neck and lifted me up as if I weighted as much as a feather. We settled in and overstuffed armchair and I snuggled as close to him as I could.

God this was why I hated crying, the migraine that followed my outburst had been building all day and now it was pounding away in my head.

I sniffed, "I'm sorry I ruined your shirt."

I felt him shrug, "that's alright I hated it anyway."

I laughed the stopped, no laughing.

"Sorry." I felt his fingers on my scalp and I practically purred. "Good Kitty."

"I see you two are having fun."

I looked up. Crap. I immediately detangled myself from Jacob and stood pulling him with me. "Hi Grandma, Loretta." I scowled at her.

Grandma blinked, "and this would be?" she waved in Jacob general direction.

"Grandma, Loretta I have the pleasure of introducing you to my boyfriend," I shot him a look, "Jacob Black."

Grandma squeaked, and Loretta mouthed 'boyfriend?' with a raised eyebrow. I nodded and grabbed his hand our fingers intertwined automatically.

"I'm sorry he's what."

"Her boyfriend." Jacob answered in a slightly louder voice and I had to bite my lip to keep the smile off my face.

"Come on Jacob lets got study in my room with the door closed."

"Ok, I sure hope it's biology." He said it with his most charming smile as he took his books from Loretta. "Damn reproductive system gets me every time."

Grandma squeaked again, and Loretta held in a laugh.

"Nice seeing you again Loretta. Race you to the bedroom." How Jacob could be so perfect I had no idea.


	9. You Got A Lot Of Explaining To Do

Loretta POV

"Hi" I said quietly.

"Well, nice of you to join us. How was your little expedition after your rudeness?" My Grandmother scolded me.

"Lovely"

"That's nice, who is this?"

"This is my friend Paul"

"Friend? Where did you two meet?"

"The beach, Grandma"

"It is too cold to go to the beach"

"I needed some air when I got here. Paul and I talked, now we are friends who are going out to dinner so if you'll excuse me I need to go change." I brushed past her. I was vaguely aware of footsteps behind me, but I ignored them.

"Can you please explain why you always feel the need to run away from your problems?"

"Care to explain why you insist on blurting out everything except the most crucial details?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Jake's your boyfriend"

"Yeah" she said, almost with shame.

"That didn't come up anywhere in last night conversation.

"We just decided"

"I see, well good for you. I hope you are happy"

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Why did you call Paul?"

"What?"

"Why did you call him?"

"Because he is your friend and I thought he could be of some help" I whipped my head around at her, finally facing her.

"Help? On what planet do I need help? And how long have you known me? Since when do I explain my issues to other people? I am more than capable of handling it myself"

"No you aren't- you tried to drown yourself, you threw up at the sight of a piano. All because of everything you keep locked up inside you"

"I was swimming, I ate something that didn't agree with me and the piano makes me sad."

"Lies, lies, lies. How the fuck do you keep up with them? Why can't you ever just be yourself?"

"Since when the hell do you care?"

"Since-"

"Since I am the only solid thing left in your life? Yeah- suddenly now I am an asset. You're happy, so we can be okay. Don't forget it's my fault mom and dad are dead before you get too far into your fantasy world" I whispered. I threw on new jeans and a nice shirt. Thea stood there staring at me.

"It's not your-"

"Yeah, it is and you blame me. Fine. But please stop pretending that you care. You were too busy staying here with Jacob to come after me so you call in the reserves. You know if our situations were switched, I would drop everything." I walked down the stairs. "Bye Thea, I'll see you later. Have a nice night" I turned to Paul, "Ready?"

We walked out of the house in silence and got into the car. "Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere" I drove to a little diner and got out of the car. He met me quickly. After ordering, I was met with a stare.

"So let's talk about it"

"What?"

"You said you would talk about it next Saturday, it's next Saturday"

"Oh, that"

"Yeah, come on Loretta, let me in"

"Can I ask you something first?"

"Sure"

"Why do you care?"

"I feel drawn towards you. You matter very much to me" I nodded at him.

"Sunday night was my recital. I asked my parents to go but they had their annual yacht trip. When I say annual, I mean they decided that day they were going to make it annual. They did, however, force Theadora to go to my recital. I got a standing ovation and I raced home to show them the DVD." I felt my breath quicken. "Uh, they weren't there but the police were. The rest of it is kinda a blur. I remember them saying there was an accident. No survivors. They asked if there was anyone they could call. I gave them my Grandparents number. We met with the lawyers. We were told our Grandparents were our guardians. The funeral came and I… you found me on the beach"

"Why did you try to drown yourself?"

"I didn't"

"Yes you did"

"No!" I said loudly then hushed my voice. "Everyone at the funeral kept telling me how proud my parents were. Then we got on a plane- no one talked to me. I am scared of heights. We got here and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Everything was so loud. All I could think was that I just wanted it to be quiet so I could think. So I went into the water to block everything out. Then you grabbed me and my life has been turned upside down" Paul sat there looking at me. "I know, it's dumb. People lose their parents and they don't act like me-"

"I know it's not just their death- I feel like you are keeping everything inside"

"Not you, Paul, I already told you more than anyone else." He nodded understanding. Our food came and we chatted about the movie. After we finished, he paid and took my hand. We walked to the car and he opened the driver's side door.

"Loretta- I am never going to leave you. Ever" How did he know to say that? I felt him leaning in. Then he kissed me, quickly, but passionately enough that my knees were weak.

"I promise".

Teddy's POV

How the hell was I going to explain all this to Jacob? How do you explain two emotional breakdowns all in one day? Stupid Grandma and that stupid piano!

"That's our car!"

After she had driven away I called Paul and we started our search. I should have known that she would have gone to the movies. We pulled up next to it.

"Ok can I call you to come pick us up when the movies over?"

"I'll go."

"I think it might be better-"

"Let him go." Jacob took my hand and gave me an encouraging smile.

"Ok." I was hesitant, "But if you screw this up I will hate you."

"Thank you for having so much faith in me."

"Go!"

I was antsy the whole way home and one than once he had to physically restrain my legs from bouncing. When we pulled in to the drive he shut off the car but made no inclination of getting out.

"I suppose you want an explanation."

"Only if you want to give it, but it would be nice."

"Ok, um, have you ever met a person where after you were finished talking to them you wanted someone to apologize for every thing they said and did?"

"I guess."

"Cause that's the entirety of my family, with the exception of Loretta."

"I think that might be a bit of an exaggeration."

I sighed, oh Jacob, so naïve so trusting. "When I was ten my mother thought it would be ok to give me a mimosa because it had orange juice in it. Until I was fourteen I thought it was ok to have alcohol at ten in the morning as long as it was mixed with something fruity."

"Wow."

"Yeah, and don't get me started on the cello, or that fucking piano! Sorry."

I finally turned to look at him, "the only reason I'm even here is because my parents got caught in a storm and drowned while out in their yacht."

And instead of the traditional 'I'm so sorry' he replied with, "you had a yacht?"

I burst out laughing, "oh Jacob," I slid over and wrapped my arms around his neck, "thank you."

"Any time."

"Alright, lets go have lunch. I, for one am starving."

Lunch went by ok; I had never seen someone eat so much in my life. I told a few more stories from New York and it made me feel better.

"Do you really have a shrink on call?"

I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled down the contacts before handing it over.

"Dr. Harvey Melnick. Huh."

That was when I heard the car pull into the drive. I rushed to the door and they had barely entered the house when I attacked Loretta.

"Thea I can't breathe."

"Sorry." I let go instantly then I playfully nudged her shoulder. "So how was your date?"

We were both surprised when Paul grabbed my wrist, "don't hit her."

I pulled free, "don't tell me what to do."

"Pau-"

He stepped up to me, big mistake. "Don't. Hit. Your. Sister."

I closed the gap and had to crane by neck up just to look into his eyes. "Don't. Tell. Me. What. To. Do. Do you know what she's gone through today? No, so why don't you let some who does know handle the situation."

"What are you getting mad at me for? I didn't screw it up."

I chuckled, "and yet I still hate you."

He growled in what was supposed to be a menacing way, but it only caused me to growl back.

"Stop it!"

We both looked over at Loretta.

"What?" We said at the same time before continuing to glare at one another.

"Why are you acting this way?"

"Because he's being an asshole!"

"Because she's being a bitch!"

"Well cut it out! Now!"

"He started it."

"No I didn't, you did!"

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"I don't care who started it! I'm finishing it. Now Thea say good bye to Jacob and go to your room."

"What?!"

"You heard what I said!"

"I heard it I just can't believe it."

"Go!"

"Fine I'm going." I put my hands up in surrender and gave a smiling Jacob a kiss on the cheek before climbing the stairs for bed. And she wonders why I call her 'mom'. I had just gotten my pajamas on when there was a knock on my window.

"Wha- Jacob?"


	10. The Instrument Incident

Sometimes I really couldn't stand my sister. She acts all high and mighty- like she knows everything. Well that is a load of – well something that I can't say. She didn't talk to me for a week. Actually- neither did my grandparents. On the other hand, Paul came by every day. On the fifth day, a Friday, something changed. I had been avoiding that piano like the plague. I was mildly shocked that my grandmother didn't hide it or Thea hadn't chopped it up. But there it sat; shining like it was brand new. Paul walked into the house.

"I think you should play for me"

"Ha- like that is going to happen"

"Don't you trust me?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Yes" He stood there and studied me for a few minutes. I felt my cheeks redden under his gaze.

"I guess I don't have a choice do I?"

"Yes, you do"

"Yes, I do" I said after thinking about it.

"So do you?"

"Yes" He beamed at me.

"So go play"

"I don't think you really understand what you are asking me to do"

"Yes, I really do" I sat down at the piano –again. "Play me your favorite"

"Why are you asking me to do this?"

"I want to know everything about you- and whether you want to admit it or not, this thing holds some power over you" I shook my head and began to play. When I finished I admired the astonished look on his face. When he noticed I had stopped, he straightened his face.

"It was great, but I have heard better"

"I'm out of practice"

"I'm sure"

"I know what you are trying to do"

"I just want you to me impress me"

"Well, I can't" His hands began to shake and a fist slammed down onto the top.

"Yes, you can!" he said angrily.

"Fine!" I yelled and played something else. The more I played, the more familiar everything felt. The music swirled around. I don't know how long I played for or how long he stood there but when I was done, I heard applause. My family was there, with Paul and Jacob. I was embarrassed; I had been lost in my own world and didn't realize anyone was there.

"Honey, aren't you glad we got the piano now?"

"Sure Grandma" I was lying through my teeth. I noticed Thea holding in a laugh. I stood up and did a fake bow.

"Before you know it- you'll start singing again" my grandfather whispered in my ear. I shook my head.

"No" He pulled me aside into the next room.

"This Paul got you to play the piano. Regardless of the denseness of your grandmother, I see the pain that instrument brings you. However, when you were just playing I saw a spark of the old Loretta. The way you were when you were a little girl- before your parents shoved everything in your face. You'll sing again soon- that is your true talent anyway."

"No Grandpa, I am done with that"

"What if he asks you? I doubt you can refuse such a handsome boy- who appears to be a keeper by the way," I laughed at him.

"He doesn't know I sing, so in conclusion he won't ask"

"With your sister around- I don't think that is going to last. Why don't you make up with her?"

"I'm stubborn and she isn't nice"

"You'll get over that" I kissed his cheek and began to walk towards Paul. My Grandmother was asking him his measurements. She kept commenting 'What tall boys they are'.

"Grandma, Paul and I are going for a walk, we'll be back in a little while"

"Sure darling. Now I expect to hear you practice this piano everyday. We need a little cheer around here"

"Sure Grandma" I rolled my eyes at my grandfather. I am pretty sure I heard him chuckle. I felt Paul take my hand and we began our walk to the beach.

"Do you know what I think?" he mumbled after a few minutes.

"That you are the king of the universe?"

"Besides that" he smiled for a second then turned serious.

"I don't know"

"I think that you should have told your grandfather how you feel about me"

"What do you mean?"

"I think you hide everything from everyone" I was beyond confused. There was no way that he heard what my grandfather and I were talking about.

"I don't understand. How do you know how I feel about you?"

"I just do- you, on the other hand, can't admit it"

"How do I feel about you then Paul?"

"You love me and you are too scared to admit it"

"This is ridiculous, why are presuming these things?"

"They aren't presumptions- they are the truth"

"Right, like you have told me the whole truth. Do not berate me when you are doing the exact same thing."

"The difference is that I talk about my feelings, you don't"

"I don't have anything to say"

"I just want you to open up to me"

"It takes time"

"Your sister has known you her entire life and she doesn't know a thing about you" I felt my cheeks burn. I took my hand out of his and sat down at a nearby log facing the water that crashed onto the shore. The sun had begun setting.

"Why do we have to wait until the fifth week before you tell me why you want to be around me?"

"I'll know by then if you'll stick around"

"Where am I going?"

"That's for you to decide" He looked very hurt. I motioned for him to sit in the sand with me. He sat down leaving a foot of space between us. That stung. I moved a few inches closer but he still didn't move. I moved again. Nothing. Exasperated and sat down as close as I could without being in his lap. I then pulled his arm around me and leaned against him.

"I do care about you more than you can possibly imagine," I mumbled. I'm not good at describing my feelings without them coming out stupid. We sat there watching the sun create beautiful colors in the sky.

"I reassure you, whatever you feel for me, I double it for you" I didn't know what to say so I just shook my head. "I'll show you- I promise you that"

Teddy's POV

He was hanging precariously on the branch that was conveniently close to my window.

"What are you doing here?"

"I can't visit?" He pouted.

I opened the window and stood back to let him in. He looked so out of place in my room, too small t-shirt and cut off jeans amidst the shabby chic country furniture, still afraid to touch anything for fear of damaging it. He even had an awkward smile on his face, the whole picture made me giggle.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

The next thing I knew I was being lifted up and carried bridal style to my bed. Before being tickled mercilessly.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA Jacob! Stop, please! You'll wake every one up!" I managed to gasp as his fingers dug into my side.

"That's not fair, you're the one making all the noise."

"Well you're not doing anything to stop it." I countered as I wriggled away from his fingers.

It was happening before I knew it. His lips had descended on mine and we were kissing as if it was the only way to sustain life. It was like every crescendo of every opera and symphony exploding at once; it was Christmas, my birthday, Halloween, New Years and the Fourth of July all wrapped into one mind blowing-ly perfect kiss. He licked my bottom lip and I happily responded.

I couldn't believe it; I was rolling around in my bed with my boyfriend. I smiled in the kiss and I felt Jacob smile back, I couldn't stop smiling actually. We were a mass of tangled limbs and I had never been so happy in all my life as I was at that exact moment.

I floated on my Jacob-high until after school Monday when I stepped into my room and I saw the familiar shaped case leaning on my wardrobe. I felt rage flow through my veins and fill my body.

"How could you?!"

I didn't even knock, I just slammed the door open. She didn't even look sorry she just had that stupid blank look on her face.

"I said I was sorry about the piano, but no, you could never leave well enough alone! Is this what I get for yelling at Paul? Well I'm sorry that I was worried about you and worried that a practical stranger was looking after you. You've probably said more to him than you ever have to me, which is not hard. Well fret no more dear sister I will never interfere or care about your life ever again. So go ahead, go "swimming" again, see if I care. You have Paul now, what would you need your horrible sister for?"

I ran back to my room and slammed the door, before I put my fist through the wall.

"Shit!"

I took the majority of my anger out on my biology project. My cell body looked very emo when I was done. I still couldn't believe she would do that. I had taken very good care to remove all identification from that stupid cello case before I ditched it in a JFK's ladies room. No one other than Loretta knew it was there, and now it was in my fucking room looking at me, being all cello-y. Stupid cello!

"_Thea I think that's enough playing for today"_

"_Oh, ok dad."_

"_Loretta why don't we hear from you again. I always do enjoy your 'Moonlight Sonata' "_

"_There is nothing like the harmonious tones of a piano."_

"_You know Thea, if you practice more your finger movements will be almost as good as Loretta's."_

"_Yes dad."_

"_I wish you had been more like Loretta, she's so dedicated to the piano and she sings."_

_I wish you had been more like Loretta, more like Loretta, more like Loretta, more like Loretta, more like Loretta, more like Loretta, Loretta, Loretta, Loretta, Loretta._

I jerked awake and sat up, cooled sweat pouring off my body, my breathing hard. 'It was just a bad dream, nothing more.' I shook the remnants of those thoughts from my head and glanced at the clock next to my bed, 5:45. I would have to get up soon for school anyways.

Sitting on the edge of my bed I looked at the darkened outline of my cello resting in its stand. I would not run from this, I would stand and fight.

"I shall conquer this, I shall." God I've been reading too much Jane Austen for my own good.

Standing I cautiously made my way over to the shadowed and foreboding looking instrument wrapping my hand around its neck. One song wouldn't kill me….or would it?

Sitting in my performance chair I settled the cello between my legs and gulped. I could smell the rosin. Bringing the bow to the strings I stopped, 'just take it one note at a time. Remember why you wanted to play the cello, remember how it made you feel, just take a deep breath and go.'

The bow finally made contact with the strings and before I knew it music filled my room and I couldn't stop. More importantly, I didn't want to stop.


	11. Of Girlfriends and Realisations

Chapter 11

Loretta's POV

So apparently my sister is also crazy because she is convinced that I called the JFK Airport and somehow managed to get her cello sent here. Why would I do that? In no way, shape or form would that ever cross my mind, not that she would believe that.

I heard her playing early that morning so I snuck outside her door and listened. She was playing the one duet we knew. I hated it, but I remembered it nonetheless. She was playing awfully loud so I assumed my grandparents were already up. I sat down at the sleek bench of my piano, all of my own accord. I paused and figured out where she was. I played along. There was no sign that she heard me, however, the way the house echoes, I would severely doubt that she didn't. We stopped at the same time. I walked up the stairs and stopped at her door.

"I'm shocked you remembered that" I said

"I'm shocked you had the guts to play along with me"

"Well, I have nothing to be afraid of. I wish I knew who sent you the freaking cell Thea. Perhaps the fact that your name and address are on the inside of the case and the doorman knew where to forward our belongings. But if you don't believe me on that, call someone and figure it out. Paul understands me and listens to me without judging me. Maybe when you are ready to grow-up, we can be friends. Until then, don't attempt to contact me" I walked out of her room feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. I had ample time to get ready for school.

The day went by quickly. Sam spent the entire thing quizzing me about my "boyfriend"

"Paul isn't my boyfriend"

"Really? I am pretty sure he is"

"Well we aren't declared"

"You are in love with each other- I think you are past the point of declarations" I knew she was right, however I was not going to assume.

"We'll see" Thea and I didn't speak at all during the car ride. Apparently Kevin was upset with her too because he only talked to me during the car ride home. I parked, let her out and pulled away. I saw her yell something after me. I ignored it.

The wind at the beach caused me to shiver. Apparently this was my go-to place. I walked along the shoreline dancing away from the water. My ipod gently played piano music as my mind went past these whirlwind few weeks with Paul. Instinctively, I knew he would show up here. I didn't know when but I could feel that I wasn't going to be alone here for long.

"So you can't stay away for long can you?"

"Nope"

"Why is that?"

"I found my place"

"With me"

"At the beach, actually" I said turning to look at him. The wind had blown a piece of hair onto my face. He reached and brushed it away.

"How was your day?"

"It was fine, better now" He smiled brightly at my comment "Yours?"

"Better if you were with me"

"Paul- am I your girlfriend?"

"What?" he sputtered.

"Oh- I'm sorry, I –"

"No, no- I didn't mean it like that. I mean- I thought we assumed that"

"Oh, okay"

"We did assume that didn't we?"

"Can we?"

"Let's just declare it" I nodded "Loretta, will you be my girlfriend?"

"What does that entail?" I said as he inched closer to me.

"Oh- letting me spoil you. Listening to me, playing me music, telling me everything" I must have frowned because he said "I know its gunna be rough but it will be worth it" I nodded. "is that a yes?"

"That is an absolutely" I closed the distance between us and hugged him.

"How is your sister?"

"How about we not talk about that?"

He stopped and gave me a look "Maybe everyone else lets you change the subject when things get personal, but not me."

"She is upset with me because she thinks I got her cello sent to her. We played a duet this morning and I told her off"

"Well that is a start"

"Where are we going for dinner on Saturday?"

"A nice diner in Forks"

"Oh okay- so this is our fourth Saturday, don't you think that I am gunna stick around?"

"Fifth Saturday Loretta"

"Okay okay" I said smiling and putting my hands up. He grabbed them and pulled me in close.

"So let's go introduce me to your grandparents and sister as your boyfriend, shall we?"

"Ugh, I mean, yeah let's do it!" I faked a smile. I knew this was going to end badly, I just knew it.

Teddy's POV

"Ted you look horrible."

"Thanks Kev! You look great too." I gushed slamming my locker shut.

"What happened yesterday, you were so perky and now…?"

"My cello came in the mail."

"Your cello?"

"I left it in the bathroom of JFK airport and then I got into a fight with Paul and Loretta had them ship it over here just to spite me."

"What did you fight about with Paul that could make her call JFK and have them locate and ship your cello?"

"A misguided attempt at caring about her. Stupid me asking about her feelings, think I'd know better by now. Paul was being a possessive asshole, telling me what to do. And to make it worse it was about how I was treating Loretta. I don't care that you're a freakishly tall and a freakin' huge bastard, I will hit you with my car. Then this morning to make it all that much worse we played this duet together and then she told me off, told me to grow up. Big talk for the emotionally stunted girl." After my rant was over I felt a lot better.

"I highly doubt that Loretta would do that."

"I know, but she has been looking for an excuse to get me out of her life since I came into it and now she does. I gotta go."

"Time heals all wounds."

"I guess. I gotta get to French, I'll see you later."

"Oh yeah, I'm counting the seconds until biology."

That made me smile.

I was out of it all day, I even got into a fight with Kevin because I wasn't all there. I don't even remember what it was about. He chatted happily with Loretta the whole way home though. The minute I stepped out of the car I barely had time to close the door before she was speeding of again.

"At least I don't run away!" I screamed after her.

Argh!! I wanted to throw something at the car I was so mad.

Why was I pushing everyone away? Maybe the commitment gene doesn't run in my family. I pinched the bridge of my nose, I was going to have to stop blaming everything on my family soon. Maybe Loretta was right all those times when she was lecturing me on taking responsibility for ones actions. I had been getting that lecture from professional and family member alike, but I didn't see anyone else doing it. Loretta ran away, my parents covered up what they didn't like with money. Why was I the one getting the lecture then? Why was it always me getting the blame for everyone else's actions? It was always me that had to change.

I was startled from my thoughts as two tan warm arms wrapped around my waist.

"What are you doing standing out side getting drizzled on?"

"Huh?" I suddenly felt the wetness against my face, I shook myself back to reality. "Oh nothing, just thinking."

"About what?"

"Just my family."

"You were blind to the world, I wish you'd be more careful."

I smiled up at him, humorlessly. "No need to worry, I seem to be pushing everything away today."

"Well I'm not going any where." He stated as his arms hugged me tighter.

_Not going anywhere __yet_ I amended in my head. If Loretta was right about me, and she always was, then this wonderful man and relationship wouldn't last. I just had to appreciate it while it lasted before he realized what I really was.


	12. An Accident and an Argument

"Grandma, Grandpa- this is Paul, my boyfriend"

"About time"

"Duh"

"Honey- we already knew that" Those were the responses I received. How did everyone know I was dating but me? Paul took their reaction wonderfully. He thought it was funny. I didn't.

"Loretta, you worry too much"

"Maybe you don't worry enough"

"Nope, you definitely worry too much"

"Can I tell you something- seriously?"

"Of course"

"I have a bad feeling"

"About us?" he looked wounded.

"No!" I said hastily "You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I just feel like something is coming. Like- something bad is going to happen"

"Yeah, your sister is gunna get fed up with your silent treatment and lose her fragile temper with you. Then I am going to get very upset."

"What do you want me to do- apologize?"

"No, I don't want you to do anything, I am just saying." I sighed dramatically and leaned my head against his shoulder. His laughed rumbled through me. That night I went to bed with horrible nightmares.

School went by fairly quickly. Sam and I had become fast friends. I was really glad I met her. Even Kevin would smile when he saw me. I know he preferred my sisters company. The duo was very quirky but I was not about to tell him to forgive her. She needed to take responsibility for her actions. Apparently she did because the car ride home was filled with them chatting. I looked out the window. It was Thea's turn to drive so that meant I got to relax. As much as I could with her at the wheel anyway. It was my job to correct when she was wrong- no one else would. Suddenly she begins this long elaborate speech. She actually started to tear up. However, I wasn't going to give in that easily. She could put it all flowery and give me backhanded compliments all she wanted. My sister's idea of an apology always includes how it was my fault, not just hers and compliments that actually end up hurting my feelings. I don't know how she does it. She came to a stop sign but didn't press the break early enough- jerking my forward in my seat. She pressed on the gas- I turned to look at her when all I could see was a huge van charging towards us. I didn't even have time to scream.

I woke up to the sound of sirens. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. Instinctively I screamed for help. I looked at the seat next to me. It was empty. I tried to undo my seat belt but it was stuck. My head was screaming in pain. I couldn't move. I started to panic but relaxed when I realized that I was just squished into the car. Nothing hurt too badly, so I was pretty sure I was going to be fine.

"Thea!" I screamed. An officer came over, trying to calm me down. "Where is my sister?" He didn't answer, just asked me all these stupid questions that I answered with ease. He asked me where I lived- but I couldn't remember. My head was pounding to badly. "Can you just get me out of here?" I begged him.

"The firemen are coming soon, you need to stay calm"

"Then tell me where the hell my sister is"

"She is on her way to hospital"

"Is she okay?" She had to be better than me- I was still trapped in here, right? The van hit her head on. "She is alive isn't she?" I started to panic.

"Honey, you need to stay calm" a nice-faced woman said to me.

"Then answer my question- Damn it!" I struggled to get out of the seat.

"She is in critical condition- that is all we know. Now stay still!" he commanded. I immediately stopped moving. She was going to be fine. She didn't have a choice- and as soon as she was all healed I was gunna beat the crap out of her. Until then I was tired and needed to rest my eyes. That's when I blacked out.

Teddy's POV

"Hey Kevin."

He resolutely ignored me.

"Oh please, look at me. I brought your favorite. Cranberry and chocolate chip muffin, with sugar on top."

I saw his head twitch in my direction before turning farther away from me.

"And a vanilla chi…"

"This doesn't mean I forgive you." He replied taking the muffin and coffee from me.

"I know, it's just a small bribe to get you to talk to me again. I just wanted to apologize, and say that I was an insensitive bitch who was having a crap day and took it out on the last person who deserved it."

He sniffed, "and why am I the last person who deserved it?"

"Because you're smart, and witty, and charming, and gorgeous, and the complete love of my life."

"I thought Jacob was the love of your life."

"Pfft! It pales in comparison to my love for you."

"Well as long as you recognize it. I hope you know that it will take a lot more than a muffin for you to be back in my good graces."

"Oh I know and that is why I have planned a romantic beach date for you and that sexy lifeguard from First Beach."

"Oh! You know me so well."

I laughed, and hugged him. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Loretta, sweet as she may be, doesn't hold a candle to your conversation skills."

I laughed again and kissed his cheek. "Come on, let's get to bio. The sooner it starts the sooner it's over."

"Amen."

The rest of the day passed without much incident, much to my enjoyment and soon it was time to get home. I was so excited, I actually got to drive! After Kevin got out at his house the once pleasant car ride turned stony and silent.

"I know it wasn't you." I said after an unbearably long silence.

"Wasn't me what?" Loretta asked distractedly

"The cello, I know it wasn't you. I was just so angry…no surprise there huh?"

She didn't say anything, she just kept looking out the window, so I kept talking.

"I'm still angry. I don't understand how you can lecture me about being responsible for one's actions when you yourself can't even face your own actions yourself."

I saw her stiffen, but she still hadn't turned toward me. "And I don't blame you for mom and dad's death you know. It was their own fault. That's another thing I'm angry about. How you bare all the blame for everything that's wrong in the world and carry it off with such _grace_ and _dignity_. St. fucking Loretta.

But most of all I'm angry about how you wont let me in. you're my sister and you'd rather "swim away" than talk to me. That's why I yelled at you about the cello, I figured that it would feel better for you not to talk to me because you were angry, not because you didn't want me as your sister. I'm your orphaned baby sister! And as selfish as this sounds you can't leave me!"

I sniffed and tried to blink away the tears.

"Make sure you come to a complete stop at this stop sign."

I slammed the breaks making the car jerk to a stop. "Good enough stop?"

"Try getting it a little more behind the white line next time."

WHAT!?!?!?! I stepped on the gas, "is that all you all you have to say to me?"

She turned to look at me, finally, but her eyes went wide with fear. I quickly turned to look in that direction and my face quickly matched her own. A set of headlights was barreling towards the car.

BAM!

And that was the last thing I remembered.


	13. Waking Up

Chapter 13

Teddy's POV

Coma was weird. Or whatever state of consciousness I was currently in. It was nothing like books or movies had described, there was no place covered in clouds, no after life… it was just sort of blurry. Guess that means I'm not dead then. That's a plus.

I wonder if the lack of noise means that no one was there with me. Wouldn't be surprised, my family hated hospitals. They reminded my grandparents they were old and they made Loretta nauseous.

Good, I hope she's really nauseous, ignoring me as I poured my heart out. She could at least fight back. Damn it Loretta get a back bone! You know what? Never mind, I am not going to waste my coma dwelling on her.

I did wish Jacob was here though. I couldn't feel any pressure on my hands so I guess he wasn't there holding my hand. Maybe he didn't know, maybe they forgot to tell him.

Looking around I noticed there wasn't much about. So sitting down I tapped my fingers against the 'ground'. Coma wasn't going to be as much fun as I thought it was.

It had been hours, or 10 minutes, I was so bored out of my mind I couldn't tell any more. How much more of this was I going to have to go through?

I shifted my position, but it was weird, I couldn't tell if I was sitting or standing. There was something my ski instructor had told me about how you determine your position if you got caught in an avalanche. What was it?

Spit, that was it! You spit into the air and watched its direction. Swirling my tongue in my mouth I gathered some spit, but before I could send it anywhere a voice shot through the air.

"Don't you dare spit in here, young lady!"

I choked trying to swallow it so fast. "Who are you?"

"Your conscious."

"Christ! Am I going to get another lecture? You'd think I'd get a reprieve in my fucking coma!"

"Watch you language!"

A figure made its was out of the blurriness, and I felt my mouth hit the floor when I saw who it was.

"Mom?"


	14. A Conversation

"Oh my god, I am dead!"

"Oh stop being so dramatic!" my mother brought a martini glass to her lips and took a long sip. Well it was nice to know that they let her drink in heaven. Probably the only way they could stand her up there. God maybe accepting of all his beings but he sure didn't have to put up with them all.

"But you're dead, and now your here, so ipso facto- I must be dead as well. Really mom logic never was your forte."

"You aren't dead, you in between."

"So I could be dead?"

"When has this obsession with death started?"

"I just want to know, life was just starting to get good down there. I just want to know if I'm ever going back."

She sighed, "drink?"

I took the offered glass and gulped the contents down. Handing it back I noticed the glass was full again, God sure knew how to keep my mother happy.

"So what am I doing here? What are you doing here?" I thought for a moment, "am I going to be visited by three ghosts to show me my past present and future, and how I have to change my ways?"

"No you'll just have to do with me?"

"And what am I doing with you?"

"I'm just here to talk to you."

I hesitated, "about what?"

"Life. I see you have a boyfriend now."

I smiled, "yeah."

"And you're still bothering your sister."

"If by bothering you mean trying to be a part of her life, then yeah."

"Leave Loretta alone, she has to learn that all on her own, and she doesn't need you pushing her faster than she's willing to go."

"Are you sure you're my mother?"

"I have the stretch marks to prove it."

"Really you still have stretch marks? You'd think they'd have gotten rid of them up here."

"I know right. A plague on my angelic form."

I laughed. "So is this what you came to tell me? That you have still have stretch marks and to leave Loretta alone?"

"No. Listen to your grandparents, don't to anything stupid, for goodness sake don't get pregnant before you get married and don't you dare get married before you turn 25. No parent likes to say this but you're doing just fine with out me."

I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tight, being careful not to spill her drink. "Why did you have to go sailing anyway?"

"The Clarks were out sailing and you know they were going to pass off that pathetic dingy as the best yacht in the fleet, and you know we could never pass up an opportunity to show them who's best."

I hugged her tighter, "never."


	15. The Moment You Wake Up

Chapter 15

Loretta's POV

"Seriously, you need to wake up. I know you are stubborn and don't listen to anyone but yourself but this is stupid. I mean- come on- I am the melodramatic one and even I don't feel like living out this soap opera." Nothing "I made cookies" Nothing "I threw out all of your paints" Nothing "Jacob skipped town because he decided he hated you" Hand twitch. "He is never coming back" Nothing "Okay, you're right, he didn't go anywhere, in fact he's been out here since it happened. You are such a horrible driver. For future reference you are never driving again. The car is wrecked. I am going to pick out a new one without you. I might just get a pink one" Nothing "With leather seats" Nothing "I am also going to go buy you all new clothes that are actually suitable for your wearing"

She had been asleep for three days. The doctors assured Grandma that she would wake up. At first, I'll admit, I panicked. I woke up in a hospital bed with Paul clutching my hand. I thought she had died and I was inconsolable. Then the nurse brought me to her. It was then that I decided she was going to be fine. Maybe if I believe it enough, it would be true. So here I was torturing her out of her sleep. I wasn't getting anywhere. Occasionally she would show some sign of movement at the mention of Jacob.

He was a mess, I tried to send him home three times. The third time, well that was it. He got very upset and started yelling at me. I started crying and Paul got mad at Jacob. They had to take it outside. I wasn't going to tell my sister. She would just get mad when I did- she'd say I'd deserve his anger. Actually he came back and hugged me so hard I thought he crushed a rib. Man did that boy love my sister. I had no idea why- he was so… cheerful and well she wasn't. It wasn't my place to try to figure it out.

"Well I am going for a walk and when I get back you are gunna be sitting up. Then as soon as you get better, I am going to beat the living shit out of you" I left the room then. Tears were streaming down my face. I hated her so much. Jacob saw me, obviously getting the wrong conclusion ran into her room. I ran outside as fast as my legs would carry me. Paul was at work- I had no idea what he did. I probably should ask that. I ended up at a pretty little fountain. I sat at the edge and cried to myself. I hated hospitals, since I was kid. Doctors were not my thing. I felt like I couldn't breathe. My wrist had been sprained in the accident. I had also received a concussion and had a bandage on my head. Other than a few scrapes and cuts, I was in good shape. So was she- except that she wouldn't freaking wake up. Jacob sat down next to me.

"She's fine"

"I know" I sighed.

"Why are you crying, Loretta?"

"I hate her"

"No, you don't"

"Maybe you think the sun shines out of butt but I don't"

"She is your sister-"

"Whom I hate"

"Why?"

"Cuz" I sniffled "I can't even be mad at her when she is like this. I want to be angry with her. I want to scream at her and make her feel bad. But I can't cuz she is lying there like a lifeless nobody. It was her own fault, yet I the guilt I feel is so intolerable. I can barely breathe" my chest heaved "This is just too dramatic for me"

"Well you should try being an outsider watching the two of you. It's rough"

"I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"That you have to put up with this- even though it is as clear as day that you are in love with my sister"

"Yeah- she is something else"

"Yup"

"You should go inside" It had started raining. Suddenly a downpour began. I was drenched by the time I reached the building. I walked back into her room. There were doctors and nurses surrounding her bed. I heard her voice and my heart stopped. I never hated and loved a sound so much in my life.

"Where is my sister, is she okay?"

"I'm fine" She looked at me, very confused. "Is she okay?"

"She is going to be just fine" a nurse walked me out of the room. There she explained to myself and my grandparents that she was going to need to be in the hospital a little while longer. My grandmother cried she was so relieved. She hugged me tightly.

"I was so scared"

"I know Grandma"

"Aren't you happy?"

"Of course, I just don't know how to react" My grandfather hugged me and kissed my forehead. We drove home that night, everyone in an infinitely better mood. Paul met me in my room and held me tightly. He had been more protective since the accident. I guess I understood, but his reaction was so much more intense than I was expecting. I didn't go back to the hospital. Then she came home.


	16. Home

Teddy's POV

When I opened my eyes everything was white. Blindingly white. there was a beeping somewhere in the distance and I tried to remember where I was. Nothing came to me. I looked around and took in the sterile environment, then it hit me, I was in a hospital. Realization his me like a ton of bricks. The car accident, that was all my fault.

Where was Loretta? Was she ok? I looked around, my panic building, no one was there. I couldn't breath, they knew it was all my fault and now they hated me. Couldn't be in the same room with some one who was so reckless and careless that they almost killed their sister.

The beeping speed up but it only added to my panic. I couldn't think there was too much noise. Then there was a swarm of people. People in white.

"You need to calm down." Said a matronly looking woman.

I grabbed her hand with the only one of mine that would move. "Lo-Loretta?"

I barely recognized my voice, so scratchy from lack of use. A look came over the woman face and I knew. I had killed my sister.

"Loretta."

"Where is my sister is she ok?" She brushed off a nurse who was picking at her wet bandages. "I'm fine."

But she was dead a minute ago.

"Will she be ok?"

"In time."

A nurse ushered her out of the room and that was when I saw my Grandparents and Jacob. Jacob was here!

"Jacob."

Jacob rushed in and pushed the doctors and nurses out of the way. He took my hand and pressed it to his cheek.

"Jacob-Jacob I almost-"

"Shhh."

He leaned his forehead against mine and cupped my face with his other hand.

"Be calm. Everything will be alright, I promise."

And as I looked up into his endless brown eyes so filled with emotion I knew it would be.

I had to stay in the Hospital for a few more days, and Jacob never left my side. He actually growled when Kevin came to visit. The entire side of my left body was smashed. The three bones in my arm were broken, and so were my femur and tibia in my leg. The doctors said I was incredibly luck not to have broken my elbow, hip or knee or have any lasting head injuries other than a concussion I received when my head hit the window.

They gave it to me strait, Jacob looked uneasy and Grandma had to excuse herself, as the doctor described in detail what procedures they had performed. I didn't see Loretta for the rest of my stay at the hospital. I didn't blame her. She probably hated me. Ha, probably? Most definitely hated me.

"You do realize that you are never driving again right?" Jacob asked as he very carefully placed my in the back on my Grandfather's car and tucked me in.

"Your stomach can rest easy."

"My heart more like." He smiled before taking my face in his hands. "I can't loose you."

"Pfft! It will take a lot more than a measly car crash and a small bout of coma to get rid of me Jacob Black. Ask Loretta I'm to stubborn."

I gave him an Eskimo kiss and my Grandpa cleared his throat.

"We should be going."

"I'll see you later. I'm fine now, go get some sleep."

"Are you sure? I won't mind if you need me to do something."

"Sure, sure." He frowned, he hated it when other people said that.

Meeting Loretta at home was weird. There was so much we wanted to say, most of it in very loud voices.

Being home was weird. Everything was tense, as if I would shatter into a million pieces if not handled carefully. Not to mention humiliating. I needed help with everything. There was nothing worse than your Grandmother helping you into the shower. Ew.

Seven and a half more weeks and the casts could come off.

I mostly stayed in my room catching up on the homework that Kevin brought over, blaring screechy woe-is-me music trying to keep concerned relatives at bay. And it worked, only Jacob braved the whiney voices blasting from my stereo. We were currently cuddling on my bed. Well as best as you can cuddle with two honking casts in the way.

"Have you talked to Loretta yet?"

"No, I don't really want to rush her telling me that she hates me and that this was all my fault."

"She doesn't hate you."

"Yes she does."

"She was just scared that she might have lost you." He replied with a calm soothing voice. It was like he instinctively knew of the tightening in my chest whenever Loretta was mentioned.

"Wouldn't you hate at me if I almost killed you in a car accident that could have been prevented I had only controlled my temper?" The tears fell down my cheeks. "My stupid temper. I had to have a fucking temper tantrum because I wasn't getting what I wanted. And because I am such a selfish self-involved bitch I almost-" killed my sister. But I could say it. Not yet.

Jacob didn't say anything, he just held me tighter and let me weep.


	17. Beginning To Mend

Paul came by everyday. We were spending so much time together.

"You aren't sick of me yet?" I smiled teasingly- secretly worried that he was going to take off and never look back.

"Nope-never" he said pulling me closer to him. "Have you talked to your sister yet? Loretta I know you've been doing all these extra things for her that she doesn't see- but you actually need to speak to her. Come on we are going to find her now" he said after I shook my head. He gently pushed me through the house. She was sitting on the coach with Jake. I hardly knew him because of our rift-, which I thought was a shame. Jake and Paul made eye contact and quickly left the room. Surprised my sister turned to look at me. I shrugged. Dinners had been awkward for two weeks- we sat across from each other but never made eye contact.

"Loretta" I looked at her. "I'm sorry- I was so reckless and you got injured because of me. I just needed to get all my feelings out and I put us in danger"

"I'm not mad at you"

"Then why haven't you talked to me?" she looked stunned.

"The reason you haven't talked to me- I don't know what to say" I looked at her like it was obvious. Clearly she was mature enough to deal with this on her own. "So let's just put this whole thing behind us. We got into a car accident- it happens. We should just count our blessings" She nodded at me.

"So you and Paul huh?" I laughed her awkward beginning of a conversation.

"Yeah- you and Jake?"

"Yup"

"You are so irritating" I gently poked her face. "How are the injuries?"

"They've been better. Having Grandma help you shower is not the highlight of your life" I stifled a giggle. She looked expectantly at me. "I am not helping you- I already do your laundry and your chores"

"Fine" she sighed. "When are we getting a new car?"

"About that- grandpa and I already picked one out"

"Without me?"

"I have a secret but I can't tell you"

"What is it?"

"Grandpa got us two cars- he said 'I know I thought it would teach you girls to be unselfish if you shared, but frankly since the accident I'd like it if you didn't always drive together. Plus Loretta, I think you need your freedom'"

"SHUT UP!"

"I am serious now be quiet" she laughed at her loudness. We sat and chatted for a while. Finally the boys came back in and things went back to a comfortable state.

"Well we gotta get ready to go to dinner- it is Saturday after all" We skipped last Saturday in light of recent events. I rose to get into the car. Paul and Jake were talking quietly in the corner.

"If you tell her- I have to tell Thea" Jake hissed "And I am not ready for that"

"I told her the fifth Saturday- that's today. Jake she can keep a secret."

"Fine- whatever it's your funeral" he pushed him out of the way.

"Paul? Is everything alright?" I said as he walked briskly towards me.

"Fine, Loretta, come on" apparently realizing the harshness of his tone, he caressed my cheek. "I'll explain after dinner okay?"

"Okay" we walked in silence to the car and listened to the radio on the ride. Dinner was another quiet affair with minimal talking. Paul appeared to be off in his own little world. I watched his inner struggle on his face the whole time. I had a sinking feeling and my nervousness must of showed too.


	18. My Boyfriend The Werewolf

Werewolf

After Loretta told me about getting my own car, I was floating on cloud nine. Nothing could bring me down. Not Loretta muttering to herself about a fifth Saturday. Not Jake and Paul huddled together in the corner and exchanging heated looks and furious hand gestures. Nothing.

"Teddy we have to talk."

Expect that.

"What about?" I tried and fail to play cool; my voice was shaking almost as much as my hands.

He picked my up and with a goodbye nod to Paul and my sister, carried me up the stairs and into my room. He sat on the bed and took my hands in his large ones and sighed.

"It's about the accident isn't it? Oh my God, you're going to break up with me now that I've put you through that horrible experience. No I get it." I interrupted as he opened his mouth. "It's probably what's best for your sanity and safety. Your father must be worried about you spending so much time with me."

"No, that's not it at all." He smiled and squeezed my hand. "In fact he uses it to guilt me into helping more around the house. 'If your can be patient enough for your girlfriend you can be patient enough with your father'."

We both smile at his attempt to impersonate Billy but his smile quickly faded.

"There's something about me that you have to know."

Oh God, "are you married?"

"What? No!"

"A woman? A drug addict, in prison" I gasped "gay? Not that there is any thing wrong with being gay of course. My best friend is gay; it's just-" I looked him up and down, "completely unfair."

"No, it's worse than that."

"You fell in love with my sister! You bastard!"

"Teddy!" he grabbed my shoulders and shook me. "I love you, I have only ever loved you and I don't plan on leaving you. Ever! God- I was made for you. So you're every whim and happiness would be taken care of."

"Then, what are you getting at?"

"I just want you to know that there aren't enough words to express my love for you so when I tell you what I have to tell you, you won't hate me."

"Jacob I could never hate you. Just tell me and stop scaring me."

He took my face in his warm hands and rested his forehead against mine. Now I was really scared.

"Teddy, there is a part of me that is a monster."

"I know - I've seen you eat."

He laughed and pulled away. Taking my hands in his he became serious again.

"Seriously though. You know how my tribe is supposedly descendent from wolves?" He looked deep into my eyes as he said this.

"Yeah…?"

"Well…that makes me a werewolf."

I burst out laughing. "A werewolf?" I managed to gasp out. "That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. A werewolf? Oh Jacob you kill me." I wiped a tear from my cheek but continued laughing.

"That's what I'm telling you I could kill you, this is serious!"

"Of course it is," I said patting his cheek. "Next you'll be telling me that the Cullen's are vampires and that Harry Potter actually exists."

Jacob pulled completely away with a look on his face that had me even more worried than before.

"Jacob?"

He kept that look on his face and I bit my lip, oh God I had just ruined the most perfect relationship I have ever had. Me and my stupid big mouth! I opened said big mouth to apologize when he took his shirt off. Now I was confused, though not complaining. Then his shorts followed and he started to shake. And right before my eyes my Jacob turned into a giant wolf.

"Oh my God."

I couldn't deal with this. The love of my life turned into a wolf and was sitting in the middle of my bedroom.

Breathe Teddy breath.

I collapsed onto my pillows. How does one react to this sort of news? Be an interesting topic for Maury though, 'Love of my Life is a Mystical Beast'; I'd watch that.

"Jacob? I don't-I don't think-" and before I knew it he had shifted back and was getting dressed.

"I'm sorry I should never have morphed in front of you. It was wrong and _so_ stupid of me, I should leave. I'll give you a few days to decide if you want to see me again, you know where to find me when you make up your mind."

He was fully dressed and halfway out the window before I finally snapped back into reality.

"Wait!" he brought his head back into my room "I don't need a few days to decide. The fact that you think I would- Jacob I can barely stand six hours with out you, let alone a few days! I don't care that you turn into a wolf, just talk to me. Tell me everything."

And he did. Everything about the legends, his patrols (which explained all the times he mysteriously was called away), even the first time he changed. By the end I didn't know I was crying until he wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Teddy, I never should have sprung all this on you all at once."

"No, it's good; got it all out at once, like a Band-Aid. I'm sorry I laughed at you"

"It's understandable, it's not exactly the sanest thing to say."

I took a deep breath and flopped back onto my bed. "My boyfriend's a werewolf." Jacob laid down next to me and took me in his arms and I sighed and snuggled closer. "Is that why you're so warm?"

"Yep"

"So am I your mate then?"

"It would appear so. With werewolves its called imprinting, it's like finding your soul mate. I was made just for you" I felt him play with my hair and I sighed again.

"I was wondering why you were so perfect. I knew there had to be a catch." I lifted my head and brought my lips to his in a once again perfect kiss.


	19. Loretta's Turn

" Are you upset with me?" I asked earnestly. I don't know what happened but the loving dynamic that the two of us had been sticking with for the past few weeks was gone. I couldn't find any warmth in Paul's eyes. He was going to break up with me, I could feel it. I was stupid and got attached to him. I started doing the 'girl thing' of picturing us falling in love and being a real couple. Someday he would get down on one knee and I would tear up because this was the moment I had lived my whole life for. I was an idiot. I gave my heart and he was about to smash it. I contemplated breaking up with him first but I didn't have the words. My mind thought back to Jake and my sister. Those two were obviously happier than clams. I thought everything was going fine- apparently I was wrong.

"Upset with you?"

"Yeah? You know, angry, hurt…those general words?" I couldn't take this game. I felt my eyes start to tear up like a child. My hands were shaking under the table. I probably deserved what was coming to me.

"Loretta, that is ridiculous, what are you talking about? Why would I be upset with you?"

"You are tense and cold and have barely said anything all night. It's the fifth Saturday Paul so if you are going to break up with me, just do it. I don't have the ability to wait around all night for you to get the guts" I was panicking inside, maybe if I got angry enough it wouldn't hurt as bad.

"Oh, Loretta, I am so sorry-"

"Don't be sorry, thanks for whatever this was" I stood up from my seat and grabbed my jacket. I wasn't going to offer to pay, my tiny bit of pride held me back.

"No- honey, you are misunderstanding me, I don't want to break up with you" my body actually sagged in relief. I would never admit it outloud but I had never been so happy to hear a sentence. I looked at him to judge whether or not he was lying so I wouldn't make a scene. I sat back down in my seat. "Loretta, sometimes I just do not understand what is going on in that head of yours. Are you unhappy? Do you want to break up?" his voice strained and he sighed in relief when I shook my head. "I have to tell you something that could change everything. I just can't tell you here" I stared at him. Why in the world would he drag this out? Was he dying and he only had one week left? Was he moving to another country? Did I repulse him?

"Okay, then let's go" I tried to sound confident in my speech. I failed miserably. We paid and walked to his truck in silence. He didn't try to open the door for me or touch me in anyway. My stomach twisted in nervousness and I prayed that I wouldn't throw up. He was being so serious. We drove past a sign that said, "LA PUSH" and parked at the beach we first met at. He would bring me here to tell me horrible news wouldn't he?"

"I love you"

"We have only been seeing each other for a little over a month" I tried to argue with him. He can't just throw around words like that. Those are words that could hurt me.

"Loretta, I am part of a tribe. We are descendants of wolves. The stories I joke about- the ones where I explained to you that my people turn into wolves is true" I snorted then wacked him on the shoulder.

"Paul I thought this was a serious conversation- you got me all worked up for nothing" I stared at his dead serious face. "Paul? Paul, come on, ha ha you win it's funny" his face didn't change.

"Loretta, I am telling you the God-honest truth. I am a werewolf. That is why I am so much bigger than the other boys you know. I am warmer and sometimes you can't reach me. It's because I am patrolling" he studied my face. I had no words to describe how I was feeling so I just stared back. "I'll show you" he stood up so quickly I felt the wind caress my face. Almost as if he had never left, a large wolf came around the tree. I felt my breath catch. He wasn't lying. I didn't know what to do so I sat there. Moments later, Paul returned. I said nothing. "Loretta, say something"

"Well that is certainly different than what I was anticipating"

"How are you feeling?"

"Confused"

"Do you hate me?"

"Hate you? What?" his question took me out of my trance "I don't hate you, that is silly. I just don't understand yet. It's okay Paul. I just need time to digest"

"There is more"

"What? Are there such things as unicorns too?" I needed to lighten the mood. He looked so serious and I didn't understand why I was being so utterly calm.

"You are my mate"

"Excuse me?"

"I imprinted on you"

"Paul-"

"I was made for you Loretta. From the first second we locked eyes you became the most important thing to me. Your happiness comes first in my life. Am I even making sense?"

"Not really, but I think I get it" I wasn't lying. This did explain my intense feelings for him. We were meant to be together. The urge I had to glue myself to him didn't seem so wrong anymore. The ache I got when I didn't see him for a long time stopped seeming like a little girl crush. The beautiful boy in front of me, loved me, like no one else had before. He wanted to stay with me because we were meant to be together. I don't know what came over me, perhaps the relief of knowing that there was an explanation for my luck or the fact that the moon bounced off his face perfectly that made me launch myself at him. I threw myself into his arms as hard as I could and held on for dear life. His grip on me tightened and I was reminded of the first day we met. I don't know how long we stood there, him holding me. I felt better knowing that he obviously had some super-strength thing. I didn't feel guilty that he was holding me. I felt him brush the hair away from my face. It was stuck on the tears I didn't know I had. We didn't talk but he put me down and we walked towards the water. We sat down, close together, his warmth radiating through me. I held his hand and when he tried to speak, I shook my head. I didn't understand and I probably wouldn't for a while. All that mattered was that we were together and that maybe, just maybe for the first time, I didn't need to be terrified. I didn't need to wonder what he saw in me. We could just be. He kissed me on the forehead.

"Are we okay?" he looked at my longingly. I smiled.

"We are perfect"

"Do you have questions, Loretta, you have to want some answers. This whole thing is nuts, I know, but-"

"We'll figure it out in time"

"Ok" We kissed as he pulled me up and started walking back to the truck. Everything was going to be okay. "Tomorrow, you get to meet the pack" or so I thought.


End file.
